JMH

Current mood: (source: stellarleuna.tumblr.com/)

Overheard while waiting for coffee: “He used to be a good writer, but I haven’t seen him write a single word in years. You know what he’s doing this morning? Making carrot cake. No one in the family likes carrot cake. He doesn’t even like carrot cake!”

Guy on a rooftop downtown yelling, “Everyone over 60 must go! We need new blood!” Thought he was delivering timely political commentary until he followed it up with, “And f*** all the dragons, too! They’re coming for us.”

We’re so close to seeing a Rays batter come up with a full-on parka under his jersey like a little kid trick-or-treating on a particularly frigid Halloween

Keep your changing leaves and dropping temps. Our mail carrier switching from his Red Sox ball cap to his Bruins one is the definitive sign of fall I’m looking for.

Pat Murphy is the most hockey-looking baseball guy I’ve ever seen

A bird hopped out from under my car and flapped against my leg as it ascended. Wish I could say I had a Mary Oliver-esque reaction, but I doubt she would have yelled, “Jesus!” and jumped three feet in the air.

Me: It’s unseemly that Costco has Christmas stuff out a month before Halloween. Also me: Oh, giant Toblerone bars are on sale!

I was researching something about reality tv and autocorrect changed ‘Jeff Probst’ to ‘Jeff Proust’ and I can’t stop thinking about that.

What passes for “smart” today wouldn’t have cut it even a decade ago

My time at the library yesterday coincided with the first meeting of the afterschool Pokémon club. Witnessed three kids being escorted from the meeting room mid crash out. Grandpa type sitting outside just shrugs at me. “It’s crazy in there,” he whispers.

Every 9/11, I re-read Tom Junod’s The Falling Man. The time between readings has started to feel shorter and shorter. esquire.com/news-politics/a4…

A good cafeteria is hard to beat.

It has come to my attention that I have inadvertently joined a fist bump gym

One of my most Boomer-coded opinions is that perfumes used to smell better.

Saw a college kid walking to class this morning wearing a “I can’t wait to gamble today” t-shirt if you were at all concerned about the future of society

I side-eye anyone who doesn’t wave or smile back at babies and dogs. You see a golden retriever going out of his mind with happiness just to be alive and you can’t even crack a grin? Cold, man.

In a sure sign of the impending end of summer, my trustiest pair of linen pants have manifested a fatal hole

I once worked for a company that provided free parking. I should have sensed things were going down the tubes when, quarter by quarter, the spots got farther and farther from the office. At the end, we were relegated to a rooftop five blocks away.