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GSCG

@GoodSCGuy

Appreciate beauty wherever possible. Do kind things, speak sincere words, be a good person. Give sincere compliments. Loyalty, temperance, honor above all.

favstar.fm/users/GoodSCGuy
Joined December 2013
  • Tweets3.7K
  • Following245
  • Followers148
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Ninety percent of being an accountant is fighting off the babes...
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When an AC/DC song comes on the radio it adds 10mph to your driving speed!
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So let me get this straight, if I grow a beard the DM's and Twitter crushes will start rolling in?
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Brian Williams in his return to NBC tonight will interview Pope Francis about the time they performed miracles together.
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I think eating crab legs is the cure for depression, because I've never seen anyone sad while cracking crabs.
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Tom Brady escaped the cheating allegations and didn't even pay anything extra to Ashley Madison.
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I'm not flirting with you. I'm just nice. Get over yourself. Except you. You get under me.
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My bank statement is just a record of everything I've eaten for the last month.
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Sex in the workplace should be referred to as "insider trading". It sounds cooler. Both are unprofessional and somebody's gettin' screwed.
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My boss is vacationing this week and just answered the phone 'No, I'm drunk' and hung up on me. #WorkFlow
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The best decision I ever made was not using my real name or email address on Twitter*. *Ashley Madison
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Oh you have six pack abs.. But do you have Guts to pay her bills dude..
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Interviewer: what are your strengths? Me: [mimes giving a blow job] "I know a little sign language"
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I don't need to see you naked to know I want you.
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People who shine from within don't need the spotlight..
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[car dealership] him: Do you have a down payment? me: *puts a skittle on his desk* him: *stares at it* me: *slowly pushes it towards him*
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Newly wedded lesbian couples gone be happy until they realize they can't open a jar of pickles. Shit will go downhill from there
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GSCG retweeted
Fly J (@FlyJ_) profile picture
Fly J@FlyJ_26 Jun 2015
The best part about having given birth to children is you can sneeze AND pee at the same time.
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Why are we still asking if the carpet matches the drapes? Didn't everybody have the carpet removed and replaced with bare floors years ago?
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Me singing "bitch better have my money" in this budget meeting is not being perceived with the seriousness it was intended. Bitches.
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