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Fuck it, I'll just 'seize the day' tomorrow ...

Texas
Joined September 2013
Photo by Forever Bamboozling (@Jeeepsta)
Whatever, I’m real fucking good at eating tortillas..
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went back to bed because i like fooling myself
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future me is probably dead already
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That perfume? eau de spilled coffee
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After midnight you’re allowed to talk about thighs. The morning crew will cover the coffee and weather.
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Nobody is safe around me when I’m having a salad for lunch.
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Shhhh, I’m trying to describe the ruckus ..
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Most of my pit stops are done at the liquor store.
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Ever meet someone and think wow just wow you’re more fucked up then me.
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My favorite shape? … Beer Bottle!
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If I didn't tweet stoned, I wouldn't tweet..
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Sometimes there are no words.. that's when I rt.
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There's no place like you..
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No, for real … If anybody needs a, ‘Whatever’ … I got like, a lot …
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*random guy accidentally brushes up against me* Me: *checks if I'm pregnant*
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I knew he wasn’t “The One” when he refused to kiss my dog goodnight.
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Sometimes I get a little awkward when a man starts to hit on me, so I just randomly yell "wrong hole" and walk away.
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I know I'm a lot to handle, but I still think all the handfuls are filled with fun.
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i'm only friends with fellow losers like myself
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