“That Kanye West performance on Saturday Night Live was actually pretty good”
-Nobody, ever
#SNL
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My two year old just called his pant leg a “foot tunnel” soooo I’m guessing he’s not going to @Harvard, but I’m also not saying he’s wrong.
Jon B retweeted
Great my golf clubs supposed to get here by yesterday but its actually coming next tuesday...just little less practice before i head to @TheOpen....Thanks @ShipSticks !! Ill just swing my chopsticks around for now
Yup sounds just like @LappTroy teapawt.net/bonafideanna/status/10…
If a poker player gives credit to another player does their head explode? Every hand history ever told starts off the same...
“Fish raises, whale calls, dickhead in the 4 seat 3 bets, semi-competent retard flats”
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Was always a fan of Phil, but the way he acted today made him seem so much more human and he’s become one of my favourites.. we’ve all wanted to do what he did, only difference is that he did it at the #USOpen and I respect that. #USOpengolf #Shinnecock
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Always liked @JasonDufner but I think I’m about to hop on the #Dufwagon®️ HARD this weekend. WHO’S WITH ME??? #USOpen2018 #Shinnecock #ShinyCock
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If it makes @ScottGregory5 feel any better, I would be absolutely ecstatic to shoot a 92 at #Shinnecock #USOpengolf #AlwaysTomorrow
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Frank went down for his nap at 1:40, #Tiger teed off at 1:50. Kid knew I wanted to watch the GOAT in Sunday red in peace. Frank, you the real MVP. #ValsparChampionship
Jon B retweeted
-Instagram’s explore page-
IG: hey here’s some videos of tubas
Me: *clicks on videos of tubas*
IG: Great! We’ll show you lots of videos of tubas from now on since you like them so much.
Jon B retweeted
An allegory of modern media punditry: Ex Secret Service agent tweets his eyewitness account of JFK assassination. Radio talk show host, who wasn’t even born at the time and has seen some videos, tells him he’s mistaken.
Jon B retweeted
*sends thoughts and prayers.
*receives Nobel Peace Prize, Presidential Medal of Freedom, Time's Person of the Year.
Jon B retweeted
“@realDonaldTrump: I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September 11th.”
God I hate seeing JV in that uniform, but can't help but respect the move. Wishing @JustinVerlander all the best in TX. teapawt.net/justinverlander/status…
What a fun night last night. Felt like opening day... lots of nerves and excitement. Great team win! ift.tt/2w81cFq
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Jon B retweeted
gerge go on ancestry .com
discover hes 1/64th african american
GERGE: im BLACK baby!!!!!!
kram imediately n word-laced tirade
Really cool! What hockey is all about! teapawt.net/lapp6/status/898227781…
Took B for a skate and saw @otterN9NE @prouter5 @zkassian9 DJ Smith and other pros making someone's day. Great example for him to witness
I get all this North Korea stuff is scary, but let's not forget about the real issue here people! We MUST FIND JOSEPH KONY #Kony2012














