@Knittykins

Follower of Christ, Wife, Mom, Referee, Lover of cars, Hater of long walks, Super-stealthy ninja

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Joined August 2013
  • Tweets44.9K
  • Following2.9K
  • Followers3.3K
538Media
My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.
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JRGin@GinRumMeFeb 3
[Opera Voice] 🎶 Do not eat my fries 🎶
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Eka Bakie@EkaBakieFeb 3
I wish Roombas got the zoomies
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Benny Boy@Camel_CrushinFeb 3
Hot girls love carrot cake. I don’t make the rules.
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Remind me to not care.
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Bob Golen
@BobGolenFeb 3
I wish my inferiority complex was as good as everybody else's.
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So many people have inspired me to be nothing like them.
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krista
@kristabellerinaFeb 3
I saw my shadow today, aka the bags under my eyes because I need 6 more weeks of sleep.
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Museums: we know everything about humans. Grocery stores: that’s cute.
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Bob Golen
@BobGolenFeb 3
I'm not smart, but I try to be kind
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Marcmywords@Marcmywords2Feb 3
Welcome to Twitter, this is where Belligerence is a survival skill .
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Ghostface Kryllah@kryzazzyFeb 3
Look, all I’m saying is, there are far too many songs about love and not enough songs about how important evenly layered nachos are
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dan
@dadopotamusFeb 2
the key to happiness is to put your phone down, go outside and watch people slip on the ice.
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120yearz@120yearzFeb 3
I still print out a calendar every month.... what of it
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I’m not sure the people who romanticize the “analog” life actually lived through it
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I don't want validation from you. I want $500.
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Sorry I missed your call, but I had to talk on the phone two times today, so I’ve already met my yearly quota.
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Cat From Nowhere
@kv828 Jul 2025
nothing purrsonal but... *meow*
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You could put any frightened animal in a china shop and have the same results.
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120yearz@120yearz26 Jul 2025
staying in your lane is cardio
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Undiagnosing myself I am fine
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