A lil bit hippie. A lil bit witchy. A whole lotta weird.
Toms River NJ 08755 USA
Joined August 2009
- Tweets11.9K
- Following907
- Followers1.9K
- Likes33.2K
I dont always get cash back at the register but when I do I forget I did and start to walk away without it.
61
Corporate held a recent teambuilding event for us. They said “execution is everything!”
But they never said what to do with that one coworker after you execute them.
60
The algorithm for social media is absolute bullshit
You’ll accidentally pause on a post about garlic bread and all of a sudden AI thinks you love garlic bread and only wanna see post about it
68
I’m at the age where I’m not worried that if I fall in the shower, someone’s gonna find me naked I’m worried they’re gonna find my shower not clean.
53
We live in an economy now where Dirty Deeds done dirt cheap is a viable career path.
I am at an age now where I am always home, but if you do pick up the phone, please send a text. I’m not gonna answer if you call.
56
Glenn Frey was definitely talking about owning a Jeep when he said “Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy.”
Don’t worry Glenn. I took your advice. I “dont even try to understand” when she makes noises now.
57
Sorry Twisted Sister but Ive reached the age where I no longer want to Rock. I want to nap. Turn the music down you say? Yes please.
89
WishfulWeirdo retweeted
Me: I should start working out again.
Devil on my left shoulder: NO. Eat crap and get fat.
Angel on my right shoulder: OMG I think there's cookie dough ice cream in the fridge.
Feeling cute might use chatgpt to sign my manager and coworker up for online management classes that focus on poor management skills like micromanagement and lack of accountability.
1
42
Snuggling up on the sofa on a cold Monday morning after everyone has left for the day and going back to sleep for a while is top tier.
5 stars highly recommended ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
2
34
