NFL_RealUpdatesParody (@NFL_RealUpdate) profile picture

Parody Account

Joined January 2024
NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
The Russini report being on an offshore gambling site, with an egg Twitter avatar, and crashing the servers on its first episode is like something out of a Larry David show LOL. You could not write a better script.
Well… you broke it. 😅 The premiere of The Russini Report drew a record-breaking audience today! We're adding more seats so everyone gets in. Stay with us! We'll be back shortly. 🙏
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
These 3 tweets from Adam Schefter were 4.5 minutes apart and could have been combined into one tweet. He does this all the time. I believe he does this intentionally for engagement and to increase his X revenue. Nobody ever calls him a grifter or engagement farmer though.
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Please stop RTing the Polymarket and Kalshi stolen news stories. They’re not newsrooms, and do no actual work. They steal others’ work uncredited and use it as a social media strategy.
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
The Kirk Cousins signing was a master stroke by Raiders GM John Spytek: The Raiders paid Cousins a total of $650,000 They got: - 9 games of rock solid QB play - 6+ months for #1 overall pick Fernando Mendoza to learn the system and be mentored by Cousins - A 2027 3rd round pick
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Drake Maye threw more interceptions in the first half of today’s game than Tom Brady threw during the entire 2016 season
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
The problem with refusing to be honest with your audience (and potentially yourself!) about your politics while creating political content is you end up creating political content that appeals to... absolutely no one.
Winning back the House could be the very thing that COSTS you the White House in 2028! And TRUST ME, there's a reason I'm saying that! I've got a message for BOTH parties, and some folks aren't going to like it! Watch my full episode on YouTube about the 2026 Midterm Elections. bit.ly/4eIKjte
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Here you go @danorlovsky7! Clear as day! RIGHT CALL
Watch the right knee It’s obvious
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Appreciated Nantz and Watt explaining why the Tucker signing in KC was controversial. Took about 30 seconds and then kept it moving—it’s not rocket science.
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Oh it’s worse than I could have imagined
Pat McAfee in action as the drill instructor in THE MOSQUITO BOWL, in theaters now. @PatMcAfeeShow
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Pat McAfee couldn't handle minor criticism, how am I supposed to believe he's a marine?
Pat McAfee in action as the drill instructor in THE MOSQUITO BOWL, in theaters now. @PatMcAfeeShow
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
The irony in the softest guy in America playing a drill instructor Don’t think this is winning an Oscar anytime soon
Pat McAfee in action as the drill instructor in THE MOSQUITO BOWL, in theaters now. @PatMcAfeeShow
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
I am personally sicken by what I am reading/seeing/hearing. @NABJ does not only support the women that are #SurvivingBSO, we will do whatever we can to advocate on their behalf. We are joining @NABJSports in crafting the appropriate response and statement. @ASherrodblakely
This Post is from an account that no longer exists. Learn more
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
So, I’m going to share my story of how Robert Littal of @bso has been inappropriate with his female employees. I waited to share this because I didn’t have receipts, but a former writer I worked with has screenshots and was able to send them to me
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
I began writing for BSO in May 2016 at the suggestion of a former writer who was a friend of mine. During training, your posts have to be approved by Rob before they are posted. One night, Rob stated that if I had more than a certain number of errors, I had to show him my boobs. – at Charlotte, NC
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
There have been 1,006 pass att meeting each of the below criteria in the past 20 years - Final 10 sec of a half - 40+ yards from end zone - Thrown 10 or fewer air yards Only 1 resulted in a TD. Drake Maye’s 48-yd TD to Rhamondre Stevenson tonight
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Trevor Lawrence has seven intermediate middle pass attempts this half, per @NextGenStats Bo Nix has 10 all season.
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Y’all are all falling in line. You know good and damn well this man apologizes every 3 business days for something ridiculous that he says with his whole chest As a Football wife who understands these challenges, I’m just appalled Shame on you for giving him “respect.”
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
.@stephenasmith your comments about Lane were ignorant and disrespectful. Saying afterward that you would never make light of mental health doesn’t erase the way you spoke about Lane. Lane is my brother. I know the MAN beyond the uniform. You’re speaking with certainty about a decision you don’t have the personal context to explain. You can assess what his absence means for the Eagles. But suggesting he wouldn’t walk away if they were winning is reckless. A winning record doesn’t tell you whether somebody is okay. Mental health doesn’t follow the NFL schedule. It ain’t linear. It’s DAILY. A man can commit to a season and later recognize that continuing comes at a cost he can no longer carry. He has every right to act on that. We ask these men to be accountable to their teammates, coaches, organizations and fans. That responsibility also extends to their children, their families and THEMSELVES. Think about what your delivery tells the next person who is struggling and afraid to speak up. That their honesty might become material for somebody’s next segment. Lane doesn’t owe you private details to earn your respect. He told us all what he needed to prioritize. That should have been enough. You have a massive platform. Carry the responsibility that comes with it. Our world is divided enough -Duke
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
Hey, Stephen A. Smith: Lane Johnson's mom has cancer. His dad is also sick. I read your book and you talked about how difficult your life got when your mom got sick and after she passed, you had to go to therapy because you were depressed and you took time off of work. Your mocking Lane Johnson's mental health struggles when you've been open about your own mental health struggles? Come on, man. I know you're busy, but do some research before going on TV @stephenasmith #Eagles
Stephen A. Smith mocks Lane Johnson for retiring to focus on his mental health
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NFL_RealUpdatesParody retweeted
WHAT A DAY 〽️ #SkiUMah #Gophers #RTB
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