Legal: Content & account used as satire and commentary and may or may not reflect any personally held beliefs. Pronouns: Ham/Salami
Oscar Mayer Factory
Joined October 2008
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Optimistic Burger retweeted
We once dealt with a jumper who was screaming that he just wanted “a fucking hot dog!”
We provided him with hot dogs.
He ate them & promptly jumped anyway.
The radio traffic from start to finish was hilarious & we still laugh at the absurdity of it, 25 years later.
😂 🌭 🤣
SWAT confronts a man on a bridge for over 2 hours before he finally jumps.
SWAT's just like "yep, pack it up boys, we're done here."
82 in a 35 with her own kids in the car...
A 22-year-old Texas mother was going 82 mph in a 35 mph zone with her two young children in the car when she slammed into a Toyota Prius carrying two recent Southern Methodist University graduates, killing them both, according to a newly released arrest affidavit.
Julian Harris, 23, died at the scene. Madison Duren, 22, was rushed to a hospital where she later died. The couple shared a passion for theater and had been active in Dallas' arts community after graduating from SMU. They were leaving their apartment when the crash occurred.
Aldrea Rogers, 22, now faces two counts of manslaughter. She was booked into the Dallas County Jail with bond set at $500,000. Her two children survived the crash.
Full story here foxnews.com/us/texas-mom-cha…
All the old WW2 guns that started showing up as everyone in europe unloaded old stock was cool to see.
Dudes were out there using Maxims, probably still are.
2022 already feels incredibly archaic, but there's a distinctly retrofuturist flair to it. It had it all: Cyberpunk-looking anti-drone guns that fry your balls off. Mavic drones doing recon and dropping grenades, but no FPVs to speak of. 30-km-long armored columns still seen as feasible, briefly. The "Ghost of Kiev". One last great old-school airborne assault. Soldiers swiping and matching with local women on Tinder. Shit comms. Zelensky appearing as a 3D hologram at EU summits. Everything livestreamed with no bans on anything yet. Civilians crowdsourcing targeting and leaking geolocations. AKs handed out on the street. People going to work like nothing happened, some duct-taped to street poles. Every new piece of equipment being a "game changer". Casualties still relatively low. But the most exhilarating and dreadful feeling was that history hadn't ended. It was, in fact, happening and nobody knew what to do with it.
Optimistic Burger retweeted
Švédský král mu ruku nepodal.... VZ si směrem k nohám krále odplivl? ... A média co? Nic.
I feel like this whole PHP vulnerability is the beginning of digital COVID.
Not often you see such a coordinated announcement to something all on the same day around the same time.
Optimistic Burger retweeted
So basically, today PHP got two critical bugs that let anyone run code on your server without even logging in, which is bad, and then the details leaked before the patch was even out, which is worse, and it works on WordPress and MediaWiki and Magento and Joomla and Laravel, and Censys says like 1.5 million servers are running a version with no fix, so the NSA was like "take your system offline," and the FBI was like "take your system offline," and CISA and the UK and CERT-EU were all like "take your system offline," and then the Prime Minister of Japan, the actual Prime Minister, posted at 5:55 in the morning telling 48.8 million people to take their system offline, so everyone took their system offline, like the Dutch cybersecurity agency took its own website offline, and the Dutch parliament went offline, and the Port of Rotterdam went offline, and Finland and France and Denmark started pulling government sites, and Wikipedia went down, and Archive.org went down, and Asana and GOG and Something Awful went down, and the University of Vienna's webmail went down for some reason, and that's just PHP. Because GitLab also dropped a CVSS 10.0, which is the highest score they give out, for a bug that's been there since 2014, so that's every self-hosted GitLab for twelve years, and then LiteLLM 1.107.0 got hijacked and shipped a credential stealer and a remote access trojan in every single wheel and the Docker images, including latest, and you didn't even have to import it, just installing it was enough, and it's the second time this year, and then Railway paused every deployment on the entire platform because someone got into the environment variables, so now everyone has to rotate every secret they've ever stored there, and TiDB Cloud said someone was walking around inside with stolen credentials for basically a month and an extortion group says they took 10.6 terabytes, and Zeabur got breached for the second time in two months and is just shutting down, like the whole company, and Node.js patched remote code execution and a TLS bypass, and CISA says Plex is being actively exploited, and someone took over 300 Tor exit relays to steal SSH passwords, and SafePay ransomware has hit over 600 critical infrastructure orgs, and India's biggest bank filed a data loss incident, and Japan has been in an official state of emergency in cyberspace since October 9, which honestly explains the 5:55 AM post. Oh, and eMudhra, a certificate authority that's issued over 60 million certificates, whose entire job is proving websites are who they say they are, was supposed to be using private keys that are random numbers over a hundred digits long, and one of them was 4. Just 4. And the others were like 66 and 237. Anyway, it's Wednesday.
Def not the NSA, they would never have backdoor into things.
🚨 SOMETHING VERY STRANGE IS HAPPENING TO THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW.
An AI discovers a catastrophic vulnerability buried in the infrastructure powering roughly 70% of the world’s websites. A vulnerability that apparently survived for more than a decade.
Suddenly, the NSA issues an extraordinary warning. Governments across Europe begin taking websites offline. Japan’s Prime Minister sounds the alarm. OpenAI, Google and some of the world’s largest cybersecurity companies coordinate an emergency response.
All because AI supposedly discovered something nobody could exploit at scale before?
Now here’s where things get interesting.
What if intelligence agencies already knew about these vulnerabilities? What if classified systems had been quietly exploiting weaknesses that commercial AI is only now beginning to uncover?
Think about that. If publicly available AI can uncover vulnerabilities of this magnitude today, what capabilities have existed behind closed doors for the last decade?
And here’s an even more uncomfortable possibility.
What if this crisis becomes the perfect justification for an entirely new internet architecture? Mandatory AI surveillance, government-controlled cybersecurity infrastructure, centralized digital identity and emergency powers to disconnect entire networks.
The Deep State wouldn’t even need to manufacture a cyberattack. A genuine vulnerability and the public’s fear of exploitation could accomplish far more.
Perhaps the real story isn’t that AI discovered a hole in the internet.
Perhaps it’s that AI has started exposing holes that certain people would have preferred remained undiscovered.
And the most terrifying question of all?
WHO HAD THE KEYS BEFORE AI FOUND THE DOOR?
Why TF would anyone be in Israel harvesting olives in the first place?
Theres probably going to be a false flag attack on the internet soon.
Effective Immediately, all organizations using PHP for their systems are advised to be prepared for an update addressing two critical vulnerabilities. PHP is widely used for web applications. These vulnerabilities often provide a direct path to the server's file system or database. If an immediate update is not feasible, it is recommend that organizations take the system offline until it can be fully mitigated. NSA will follow up shortly with more specific guidance.
I've always been fascinated by the fact that the Allies arrested Hess after he flew to the UK to try and broker a separate peace and undermined Hitler.
They kept him locked away in solitary from 1941 until he died in 1987.
What did this guy know that the allies never wanted public?
