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ostomy humor (@OstomyHumor) profile picture

ostomy humor

@OstomyHumor

Make (ostomy) life fun! $ostomyhumor

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Joined February 2017
  • Tweets304
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  • Followers502
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How to get a good night's sleep with an ostomy: 1) Create a bag routine and write it down 2) Throw it in the trash 3) It's not going to happen
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Tomorrow: Botox. Scheduling: Cosmetic dentistry. Budgeting for: Tasteful fillers. Shit: in a bag.
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ostomy humor retweeted
BBC Sesh (@bbcsesh) profile picture
BBC Sesh@bbcsesh30 Aug 2018
Life, love and sex with an ostomy bag. Emily from Carmarthen has some VERY frank advice @saltylilnobody
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This is the most accurate thing ever
ostomy humor (@OstomyHumor) profile pictureostomy humor@OstomyHumor17 Nov 2019
Hydration is my new religion. #ostomy
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Having an ostomy means knowing there's a nuclear option if I want to get out of a boring conversation.
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So my patient’s new ostomy started working.
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Inspirational Ostomy Keynote Address: "I Told a Dude I Had a Parasitic Twin Under My Lingerie and That's Why I Didn't Shower in Front of Him and You Can, Too"
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ostomy humor retweeted
Thicclet (@coralbestcomedy) profile picture
Thicclet@coralbestcomedy4 Jul 2019
The only difference about living with an ostomy is now I shop for poop bags not just for my dog.
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Sometimes I get down about my ostomy and then remember that's, like, the 38th most unappealing thing about me. – at Seattle, WA
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I think men are confused by my fabulous chest and the bulge in my pants, haha. I swear, it's not cause I'm happy to see you!! #OstomyHumor
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Ostomy culture is thinking, "I got up and changed my bag for THIS??"
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There are two kinds of ostomates: 1) It's time to change the bag, so... Take a shower. Hair dryer to skin. Put down tarp. Sterile gloves. Maybe a face mask? 2) It's time to change the bag, so... this Arby's dumpster alley doesn't have security cameras. – at Seattle, WA
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It’s funny how having with an ostomy has changed my thinking. One example: how hard I laugh on the inside now when a fashionable persons says they’re “like... obsessed...with bags” #bagsaremylife #ostomyhumor
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Going through airport security with an ostomy is a pain in the front butt! #ostomyhumor #IBD #nocolonstillrollin
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How do I wear stupidly tight jeans and trashy club dresses with an ostomy? The same as any other woman: by suffering.
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I bought my first bathing suit since my #ostomy surgery... and hot dang, it feels/looks great. It's a pity I hate SUNLIGHT and FUN and want to live in a DAMP BASEMENT.
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