Father, Engineer, Floridian, and a general purpose blunt object
Winter Park, FL
Joined December 2022
- Tweets2.6K
- Following849
- Followers162
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My gawd. I knew Tokyo Disney was cheap, but not THIS cheap. On the same day, Dec 22, a Tokyo ticket is $69 adult/$35 child and that includes tax. A ticket to MK, same day is $222. A family of 4 can go to Tokyo for $208, less than 1 adult to MK. And I'm going to TDS Dec 22 😉
You've just died, the 6th picture in your phone gallery is what killed you.
Talk about going out in a blaze of glory! 🚀
Inject this station into my veins and get me back my red '96 Mitsubishi Eclipse with the volume cranked to 11. The late 90s were amazing. I refuse to think it's some patina effect.
It's the easy button. It's great. People like this person are why hitting the easy button feels hard. It's not.
> Be Chris Kubasik
> Be COO of Lockheed Martin
> Get named next-in-line CEO
> Bang your secretary and get fired
> Retain stock options
> Get hired at L3Harris
> Become CEO
> Bang a secretary, again (??)
> Get fired, again
> Retain stock options
reuters.com/business/aerospa…
Chrisler 🐊 retweeted
Lib: "Happy birthday."
USA: "Thanks!" (Eating apple pie)
Lib: "You’re not perfect."
USA: "Yeah…okay."
Lib: "People say you’re exceptional."
USA: "Oh, that’s nice!"
Lib: "You ARE exceptional."
USA: "Thank you?"
Lib: "What makes you exceptional is that we can still change everything that is so crappy about you! YOU ARE PRETTY TERRIBLE."
USA: "This seems like a time and place issue. It’s my birthday."
Lib: "And on every single birthday you have disappointed me."
USA: "I never said I was perfect. But I feel pretty proud of what we’ve built."
Lib: "YOU NEED TO BE DIFFERENT. YOU’RE SUCH A HYPOCRITE."
USA: "Becoming better was kinda the point. There’s a plan for doing that in my birth docs."
Lib: "And here you are, obsessing over your good traits and accomplishments ON YOUR BIRTHDAY."
USA: "Mm-hmm, that seems kinda normal."
Lib: "GAH, YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY!"
USA: "I think maybe you're just not interested in a bday party?"
Lib: "Oh, great tolerance! Way to live up to your values! This is what I MEAN about you!"
Final Fantasy Tactics Adv came out over 2 decades ago. I'm replaying it and for 2026, it is based. Basic story: some kid, who is picked on, is changing reality for everyone else and using the law to prevent going back to reality. It's your job to return things to normal.
Future convo with HR for me:
Me: why am I here?
HR: you can't call high school interns "juice boxes"
Me: 😐.... Why not?
New scam unlocked: Certified Husband Birthing Coaches. New dads will literally pay money to be certified to tell their wives how to give birth. I can't think of a single woman who wants their husband to tell them how to give birth. 😂 But it's a thing!!!
I swear this dude is my next door neighbor and is watching me do this stuff 🫠
The Official Florida Summer "Sweat Equity" Zero Gym Weight Loss Plan ☀️
Who needs the gym when you have 98% humidity before breakfast? Here is my bulletproof, minimal-effort guide to shedding pounds this week:
Monday: Open front door to check mailbox. Step directly into the soup. Melt slightly. Walk back inside. (-4 lbs)
Tuesday: Active recovery day. Floating completely stationary in the pool hydrating with margaritas. (+6 lbs)
Wednesday: Start mowing front yard. Give up after 6 minutes because the air tastes like boiled water. (-10 lbs)
Thursday: High-carb replacement phase. Whole Publix Chicken Tender sub and cold Yuenglings beach side. (+8 lbs)
Friday: Muster the strength to finish the backyard. Forced to sprint away from a swarm of angry mosquitoes. (-11 lbs)
Saturday & Sunday: Absolute lockdown in the 68°F central AC. Sustained by leftover Publix sweet tea and sheer survival instinct. (+10 lbs)
Grand Total Net Loss: -1 lb.
It’s called fitness, folks. Trust the process. 👍
Life goals. I half expected to read my dad's name in this story.
Two men charged with super-speeding in Lake County. One of the drivers is 85-years-old. Troopers say he was going 110 in a 45mph, the other was clocked doing 125. Both men were seen smoking cigars in the body camera video when pulled over. @fox35orlando fox35orlando.com/news/elderl…
Great ending to a World Cup weekend!!! As per my standard operating procedures here, God Bless Texas.
GB Texas. It never ceases to amaze me at how audacious it is. This was a fun place.. Hard Eight BBQ.
God. Bless. Texas. Scheels is giving bass pro shops a run for their money. I think it's superior. This is amazing. Second time here. I'm going to make this a regular stop when I come to Dallas.
God. Bless. Texas. Time for some World Cup action!! ⚽️ Japan 🇯🇵 or Netherlands 🇳🇱?! I'll take Japan!
Can't believe I've never seen War of the Rohirrim. Really enjoying this as it feels like a mix of Final Fantasy and LotR -- core memory franchises for me. I can see why some wouldn't like it. But it hits a unique spot for me. 🍿
Chrisler 🐊 retweeted
Video: Epic Universe on its first anniversary. However, as if the concept model came to life!
This a version of the "tilt shift" camera effect where scenes look like stop-motion animation/toys. Made with After Effects last couple of weeks. Standard camera methods, no AI used.
