September isn’t an “awareness month” that I thought I’d be able to personally relate to or be affected by. Suicide Awareness Month. coming up on 6 months without my closest friend 6 months since I hung up the phone with my brother that night, knowing something wasn’t right 6 months since I made the call to have a welfare check 6 months of constant thoughts about what rocked him so hard to the core that he decided to give up 6 months, and a whole life time to go of anger, grief, wishing things were different, and knowing he’s never coming back It’s not worth it, really. I know everyone loves to square up and ask the question if their life is really worth it. That’s not your soul talking, that’s not God talking. It’s the evils, the human nature, and the pain of the world creeping into the spiritual existence that we are all so blessed to have. You can knock this take all you want, but at the end of the day, you’re a spiritual being having a human experience, and the human experience is not going to be sunshine and roses. It’s going to suck, it’s going to feel like a constant uphill battle sometimes. there might be more highs than lows. That’s why we’re here. I miss Sam every single day. It’s what I think about when my brain isn’t occupied enough, when there’s beams in the sky, when I’m doing something that reminds me of him, whenever I hear about something similar happening to someone else, it never really stops. Please make the choice to stay. You are loved beyond measure. You have so much more joy ahead than the pain you feel now. Make the choice to bring your mindset to a better place. Pull yourself out of the dark or ask someone for help, you can do it.