random ramblr

I wanna write a tweet about the song "Crazy On You" but I don't know the lyrics by Heart.

I currently have my Bluetooth on, so yeah, you could say I'm Radioactive.

Rocket Man is my favorite song about a gay dude making crack.

It's not that I don't like kids, it's just that I only love mine.

My family's kinda like Hawaiian Punch. 10% real Jews.

I was going threw my mom's old stuff and seen this letter my dad wrote when he was away on business for 60 days on a hit and run. It said "Happy", and a tracing of his hand.

I've never been anybody's piece of ass. I'm pretty sure I've always been the asshole.

My ex cheated so I banged some skank. It's crazy how a game of Monopoly can get out of hand.

My ex cheated and I tweeted

-Meeting the new couple next door- Me: Hi, I'm Jerry. Her: You gotta speak up. He's got hearing aids. Me: Damn...DID HE GET IT FROM YOU TALKING DIRTY TO HIM? Him: .... Her: .....

Little Lice, by Fleetwood Mac is my favorite song about tiny pests.

I'm always Mr. Write for the wrong typo girl.

"Argument"is just a woman's word for "you lose".

Twitter is like the job I quit during Christmas vacation. And nobody even noticed.

If a gay male gets arrested for domestic battery does he get charged with cockfighting too?

My ex always wanted to do it doggy style because she liked it ruff.