Five months ago I started ALL CAPS. This morning, we had our first major project featured in the New York Times. nytimes.com/2022/12/07/nyreg…

You know what's even better than getting a bag? Getting aware that chasing bags is a lifelong trap set up for most of society by a very small group of extremely rich people. I don't have any solutions after that. We live in a very sad time.

We don't talk enough about how incredibly weird it is that Grand Theft Auto -- a game steeped in and parodying a snapshot of current American culture -- is creatively led by hundreds of Scottish people in Edinburgh.

Yes, the publicist was lying. Of course they were lying. The very nature of publicists/pr people is to lie. It is their profession. They were lying from the moment they woke up in the morning. Anyone writing anything in a journalistic publication should know this.

Everything is starting to feel very dangerous!

Would be genuinely funny if this were parody.

Have you ever heard the expression "don't leave money on the table?" That financial advice isn't just for people worried about The Money Goblin, who comes at night to eat your table money - it can even apply to a kid who doesn't want to get taken and sold by The Money Goblin.

My office is on the fourth floor, which puts me at eye level with the roof of the building next door. Every day, the people who live on the top floor of that building let their two large dogs out on the roof who then piss and shit on said roof. NYC is weird, man.

The most surprising thing to me is that people continue to throw good money after obviously bad ideas in an attempt to get rich(er) quick. It's so exhausting and tedious!

I don't mean to sound insensitive or callous. I do mean to sound incredulous that anyone thought that such a bad idea would scale and become a big payday. They're just expensive cookies.

No way one of the several cookie-only fad chains ran out of investor money and suddenly closed all their shops that is shocking I am shocked

Truly staggering seeing buddy buddy interviews with Bill Gates. Literally nothing matters.

If you think there are enough people growing illegally to supply the "black market," I've got a few bridges you might be interested in buying.

I like to imagine the mythical illegal grows where millions of pounds of unlicensed marijuana, grown without the strict regulation of our very competent government, supplies "the black market." I assume they are guarded by humanoid unicorns with laser eyes.

TBH I'd be falling asleep *all the time* as the president. The amount of boring speeches they have to sit through! My lord! You get me sitting in a warm room, in a comfy chair, while some idiot rattles off empty words? I am definitely going to fall asleep. For sure.

I don't know about y'all but I been dunking on that living under a bridge looking ass dork Ed Sheeran for YEARS. Of course he's spineless on human rights -- his entire career is based on empty, trite nonsense. It's like being shocked that Taylor Swift doesn't stand up for things.