Raven Rain

My wife and I had a son 5 months ago. We were both uncertain if we wanted him. Why? We really enjoyed our life and the fear of a new variable disrupting that was very scary. And the first 2 months into it, we were still uncertain. It felt more like a nuisance than a benefit. We also lived a life of extremes. Each with 120+ nights per year in a hotel, hiking every weekend, racing cars and a ton of solo time. The relative change was real. There's a mourning of your old life. But then the postpartum hormonal extravaganza ends, you settle into the change and adapt to the new. You realize how incredibly special a child is. It's difficult to explain until you have one, but I liken it to the gut punch feeling and chemistry you experience with a first love. There's a draw to that person that is more important to you than anything else. And the weirdest part is no one else feels this same yearning. If you don't have a kid, this might also help you understand how looking at your kid is way different than looking at someone else's... because I really don't care for anyone else's. But mine? When I'm away for more than 4 hours I catch myself smiling at a photo of him and anxiously anticipating when I get to see him again You solidify the family unit. And imagine a future together that's much greater than "happy". Then there's a wonderful realization you can still thread in the parts of your old life that mattered. Prioritization becomes clear. My wife and I learned how to work even better together for each other, ourselves and the family. Could we have been fine without kids? Probably. We're pretty adaptable as humans. But does the good outweigh the bad and is that worth taking a chance on the regret index? Absolutely. 100x. It's difficult to explain, but I suppose anything encoded into us over millions of years is.