Senator Prosper ⚖️💙❤️

We need to have an honest conversation about how some Nigerian boys are raised to understand respect and authority. In some homes, the boy child grows up watching his father make every major family decision while his mother is expected to agree, even when she has a different opinion. If she questions him, she is reminded that he is the head of the home, and if she insists on being heard, she is accused of challenging his authority. Instead of being seen as the domination that it is, the man calls it being the head of the home. The boy watches his father dismiss his mother's opinions on finances, the children's education, and other family decisions. He sees a woman who contributes to the household, yet must still seek permission, choose her words carefully, and swallow her disagreement to keep the peace in the home. This boy grows up hearing, "You are a man. Don't allow any woman to talk to you anyhow." Eventually, he becomes a husband. His wife is educated, ambitious, and earns her own money. She has opinions about their home and children. She questions a financial decision, suggests a better approach, or disagrees with him on parenting. Even though she did them in love and with respect, he begins to feel challenged because he was raised to make all the decisions. How dare she have an opinion? When she gets a promotion, he becomes uncomfortable. When she buys a car, he wonders why she needs one when he has his. When she offers a different opinion, he calls it disrespect. Sometimes he pretends to make her feel included by asking for her opinion, while knowing full well that he only wants her to agree with his own. This is why it is important to examine what we are teaching our boys about manhood and leadership. And the painful part is that it is not just the fathers. Some mothers excuse their sons' disrespect towards their sisters because they are boys, while teaching their daughters to be accommodating and submissive. We cannot keep raising boys to associate leadership with subjugation, and then wonder why some men struggle with partnership. Teach your sons that a woman can disagree without disrespecting them, and that listening to their wives does not diminish their manhood. They should be taught that accepting correction is not weakness, and that a wife's education, income, and success are not threats to her husband's position. More importantly, let them see these values practised at home. Children don't just take what we tell them verbally, they watch and learn from our actions. A man can be respected without making his wife feel insignificant. He can lead without intimidating, provide without controlling, and decide without silencing another adult. If the only way a man knows how to establish his leadership is by reducing the woman beside him, perhaps what he has learnt is not leadership after all. May we raise better sons.