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Thor Odinson

@ShitThorSHOUTS

The God of Thunder shouts a lot of weird shit. This awesome Archer Avenger, Clint Barton, is here to let you laugh at it. #shitmarvelsays

 Not affiliated with Marvel
Joined September 2012
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"WHY DID THEY NOT ASK OUR PRESENCE AT THE LIGHTING OF THE GREAT TREE THIS EVENING? I WAS PREPARED FOR JOVIAL SONG." #TreeLighting
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"'TWAS TRULY A FEAST FIT FOR A GOD. I THINK I SHALL JUST... LAY HERE FOR A MOMENT..." #WhatDoYouKnow? #TurkeyCanKnockOutAGodToo
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"WHY IS THIS PIE CALLED MINCEMEAT? I TASTE ONLY FRUIT." #HappyThorsgivingEverybody!
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"HAS THE BEAST IN THE SWIMMING POOL BEEN VANQUISHED YET? I BELIEVE I'D FIND HIM A WORTHY FOE."
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"AH, THIS SONG! WE ALL MUST STOP, FOR IT IS THE TIME OF THE HAMMER." #STOP #HammerTime
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"Who introduced Thor to corndogs? There's enough sticks piling up in the living room to build an outhouse."
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"It's really not funny that the kitchen smells like burnt pizza rolls and despair."
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"AH. I AM AFRAID I DID NOT KNOW THAT PUTTING TWO BAGS OF "PIZZA ROLLS" INTO THE MICROWAVE WOULD BREAK THE CONTRAPTION."
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"I AM.. WHAT'S THE PHRASE? I AM "JUST SAYING", IF WE ASSIGNED HOLIDAYS, THANKSGIVING WOULD BE IN MY HONOR." #ThorNo
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"I BELIEVE THERE WAS TO BE A FEAST FOR THE UPCOMING MIDGARDIAN HOLIDAY. IT WILL NOT PLEASE ME IF THAT IS FORGOTTEN IN WAKE OF THE NEXT."
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It was fun, guys, even if it didn't last long. Still wearing the jacket without pants, though. Hawkeye out, motherfuckers! #SteveRoast
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> kitten or /something/, every. single. time. #SteveRoast
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#SteveRoast I love Cap, but I can't drag the guy on a pizza run without him stopping to help an old lady or save a >
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#SteveRoast I'm surprised that Cap's dick still works after 60+ years in ice. That must've been one hell of a case of actual blue balls.
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#SteveRoast There's something to be said for Cap's taste in men. A lot of the Steve's I've met end up banging /Stark/. #Embarrassing
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#SteveRoast Be careful around him - Cap can 'disapproving face' even the toughest supervillians into submission.
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#SteveRoast I was hesitant to defer to Cap as leader, at first. It's hard to trust a blonde, even if they are a celebrated war tactician.
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#SteveRoast Someone told me they wanted to make a documentary about Steve Rogers. I told 'em to call it "From The 40's, Old Virgin".
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Am I the only one droppin' trou, around here? Come on, bitches, this is a #PantsFreeParty! #SteveRoast
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Guess whose not wearing pants? If you're coming to the #BadassBash, then you'd better be doing the same. #Kidding #NotKidding #JoinUs
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