Professional Jesus Impersonator
Florida, USA
Joined June 2011
- Tweets8.2K
- Following263
- Followers165
- Likes26.3K
Stephen retweeted
you dont want your kid to read age inappropriate stuff but when i was 12 i read choke by chuck palahnuik which is about a guy that picks up girls at sex addicts meetings and that convinced me reading was cool and i never stopped reading since then so, sometimes its kind of a wash
Stephen retweeted
When I was 9-10 I read a book which features an extended sequence where a magical domintarix enslaves, rapes, and mentally breaks the protagonist and it led me to the fundamental values that have shaped my entire life since adolescence (the book, not that sequence).
Stephen retweeted
Courage trying to explain that he was just chased by horrors beyond human comprehension to Eustace & Muriel
Stephen retweeted
my sex drive is high but unfortunately hopelessly outclassed next to my desire-to-do-bits drive
Stephen retweeted
People last night couldn’t believe how funny and charming I was after getting way more drunk than everyone else. They looked at me in awe as I made sexual jokes and witty remarks about their personal lives, inbetween long anecdotes that I repeated several times, louder each time
Stephen retweeted
if your friend is showing u a movie they like and ur on ur phone you deserve to be strung up in the streets from your nipples
Stephen retweeted
“It sounds like somebody needs a little refresher on Zeus’s Law” —me, after being confronted at a dinner party by the host, who objects to my going through her medicine cabinet looking for pain killers.
Stephen retweeted
HALDEMAN: There’s a genre of film they make. They’re called “edits.” Footage of you - the Checkers speech, the ‘62 concession, the helicopter, set to a kind of, uh, trancelike electronic music. The comments say things like “literally me” and “he just like me fr.”
NIXON: What’s “fr”?
HALDEMAN: “For real,” sir.
NIXON: And the…sweating? In the, the debate? They’ve seen the sweating?
HALDEMAN: They love the sweating. They consider it relatable. The consensus is that the sweating gives you “aura.”
NIXON: Aura, huh.
[EIGHT SECONDS OF SILENCE]
NIXON: Bob, I want to be very clear about something. In 1960 that sweating cost me the presidency of the United States, and now it’s giving me…what, aura? Where the [EXPLETIVE] was the aura in Cook County?
KISSINGER: History has a way of vindicating-
PRESIDENT: Henry, do you have edits?
[TWELVE SECONDS OF SILENCE]
KISSINGER: There are some.
Stephen retweeted
I like that part in Lost Highway where that creepy dude tells him he's at his house and Bill Pullman's response is just "that's fucking crazy man"
