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jerd

@TeedleJay

Former newsman, current wind tech, future donut shop barfly. I’ll fix your phone if you drop it, but please tell me if it landed in the toilet.

 California, USA
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets12.6K
  • Following290
  • Followers322
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Photo by jerd (@TeedleJay)Photo by jerd (@TeedleJay)Photo by jerd (@TeedleJay)Photo by jerd (@TeedleJay)Photo by jerd (@TeedleJay)Photo by jerd (@TeedleJay)Photo by jerd (@TeedleJay)Photo by jerd (@TeedleJay)Photo by jerd (@TeedleJay)Photo by jerd (@TeedleJay)
PUPDATE: we awoke at dawn and made the 2-hour trip to LA. Despite 2 preventive potty stops, as I hit he US-14/I-5/I-405 intersection, the dog began shitting in my backseat.
jerd (@TeedleJay) profile picturejerd@TeedleJay21 Jan 2022
The dog-snake wishes to go to a greyhound meetup in Playa Vista tomorrow morning. I am debating if this pointy cretin deserves a 4-hour car trip.
Image from jerd (@TeedleJay)
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If you've ever wondered what the Antoine Carr basketball courts mural at McAdams Park in @CityofWichita looks like from the sky, I've got you covered. #Drone
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Here I was thinking my summer wasn’t going to be stressful enough
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I’m usually excited about our monthly MeUndies order but hmmmmmmm
Image from jerd (@TeedleJay)
Image from jerd (@TeedleJay)
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If you see this, drop a photo of yourself as the villain.
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Too long. Toooooooooooooooo long.
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ngl that’s gotta feel soooooo goooood to bite into with sharp lil teefs
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Dude at the gym said he likes listening to Christian music to pump him up and technically? Samsies.
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Girls soft launching boyfriends on their Instagram stories
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Shout out to the best dog poop scooping business name ever.
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Our dog leans hard into her neck scritches which prompted us to create a fictional hillbilly girl named Scritchlene that we yell around the house daily.
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“Scritchlene! No! That Mountain Dew is for the baby!”
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We are snowed in and bored, is what we are saying.
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“Scritchlene! You put that raccoon head back in the crockpot!”
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“Scritchlene! You quit talkin to that mailman! He’s from the GUVMENT!”
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Horny on Maine
It's a weather map of Maine that says "PLOWABLE" in huge letters across the state

ALT It's a weather map of Maine that says "PLOWABLE" in huge letters across the state

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Tonfa crew step up
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I sent youse two to whack that freakin' guy and instead youse screwed it up like a couple of
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