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The Colchester Times

@TheColchTimes

Authentic news stories across Essex & beyond. Established 2025. (parody/satire)

 Colchester, Essex
the-colchester-times.co.uk
Joined August 2021
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  • Followers58
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Photo by The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)Photo by The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)Photo by The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)Photo by The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)Photo by The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)Photo by The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)Photo by The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)Photo by The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)Photo by The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)Photo by The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)
🚨 BREAKING: The Colchester Times confirms return following devastating AA battery shortage the-colchester-times.co.uk/a…
The Colchester Times confirms return following devastating AA battery shortage - The Colchester...

The Colchester Times confirms return following devastating AA battery shortage - The Colchester...

The site had been offline since 2025 due to a major logistics failure involving a wireless keyboard - read more on The Colchester Times

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Neighbourhood Watch groups prepare for military-grade surveillance operation ahead of Essex hosepipe ban the-colchester-times.co.uk/a…
Neighbourhood Watch groups prepare for military-grade surveillance operation ahead of Essex...

Neighbourhood Watch groups prepare for military-grade surveillance operation ahead of Essex...

The ban comes into effect tomorrow, 11 July. - read more on The Colchester Times

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High temperatures caused by 'summer' according to experts the-colchester-times.co.uk/a… #heatwave
High temperatures caused by 'summer', according to experts - The Colchester Times

High temperatures caused by 'summer', according to experts - The Colchester Times

It is currently summer - read more on The Colchester Times

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Sixth form student suspended after replacing bells with cow moos in 'cyber incident' the-colchester-times.co.uk/a…
Sixth form student suspended for replacing bell sounds with cow moos - The Colchester Times

Sixth form student suspended for replacing bell sounds with cow moos - The Colchester Times

The police are not pursuing charges - read more on The Colchester Times

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there is no news today
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Weather expected in Colchester, experts say the-colchester-times.co.uk/a…

Weather expected in Colchester, experts say - The Colchester Times

There will be weather conditions - read more on The Colchester Times

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Road is not open because it is closed, council says the-colchester-times.co.uk/a…

Road is not open because it is closed - The Colchester Times

The road will remain closed until it reopens - read more on The Colchester Times

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Police have arrested a man after attempting to burgle a house... armed with a FOAM sword. Read the story here: the-colchester-times.co.uk/a…

Police arrest man for attempting to burgle house with foam sword - The Colchester Times

Police say there is no wider threat to the public - read more on The Colchester Times

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BREAKING: The European blackout was caused by a cleaner unplugging a socket 'so she could hoover', report finds. the-colchester-times.co.uk/a… #EuropeanBlackout #poweroutage #SpainBlackout #PortugalBlackout #blackout

European blackout caused by cleaner unplugging socket for hoover, report concludes - The Colchester...

One Plug, One Hoover, 38 Billion Without Power - read more on The Colchester Times

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Our refined statement following the closure of regional First Bus X accounts can be found on this page: the-colchester-times.co.uk/f… The page will be updated with additional resources and information in due course.
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Please find attached an official statement from The Colchester Times.
Image from The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)
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We would also like to acknowledge the individuals behind these regional accounts, who were often the only visible point of contact for frustrated passengers. If their roles have been impacted by this decision, we wish them the very best and thank them for their efforts.
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ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! @FirstEssex have just blocked me.
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Oh dear... now @FirstEssex have deleted/disabled replies to their announcement post. This speaks volumes about how little they care about their passengers. They've truly stunned me this time. But we won't be silenced. @bususer1958 @Moukdade67 @FirstGroupplc @FirstBusnews
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@FirstEssex Unfortunately once you put something on the internet, it's out there forever. I had the tweet open in another tab so I'll provide a copy of the replies to your post in this thread. 1/n
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Note: any users I've mentioned here, if you aren't happy with me re-posting your replies here, please let me know and I'll delete it. (excludes First Essex)
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Replying to @TheColchTimes @bususer1958 @Moukdade67
@Cameron_Poole95 @TheGazette you might be interested in this... does this warrant a serious news article?
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Replying to @TheColchTimes @bususer1958 @Moukdade67
@Moukdade67 :
Image from The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)
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@FirstEssex @bususer1958 @Moukdade67 @FirstGroupplc @FirstBusnews
Image from The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)
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Replying to @TheColchTimes @bususer1958 @Moukdade67
@FirstEssex @bususer1958 @Moukdade67 @FirstGroupplc @FirstBusnews
Image from The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)
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Replying to @TheColchTimes @bususer1958 @Moukdade67
@TheColchTimes: How do you expect passengers to rely on your app when it clearly does not work. No answer to our previous tweets about the non-existent S1 being 'tracked live'
Image from The Colchester Times (@TheColchTimes)
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Replying to @TheColchTimes @bususer1958 @Moukdade67
@Colchesterviews: Quite remarkable really. @FirstEssex have never understood marketing or customer service, that’s because they operate from Leeds. New services for #Colchester have been running 4 days, now this. Everyone should be mail the MD of First bus. Janette.Bell@firstb...
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@bususer195: [replying to CV's tweet] I totally agree .... but I also got blocked some time ago now for daring to provide the name and contact details of senior executives who prefer to remain anonymous and unaccountable stuck in their "ivory towers"!
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Replying to @TheColchTimes @bususer1958 @Moukdade67 @Colchesterviews
...firstbus.co.uk
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