Pistachio Disguisey

For today only I will be giving out free new names when you “like” this tweet

She didn’t laugh at my joke as hard as I wanted and now the night is all ruined

Trying to think of a zingy name for these oats that I’ve soaked overnight

Listening to Walk It Out. Little redundant, no?

Dylan Harper will be best player from 2025 draft (heard an executive say this)

Wife called my “brave” for leaving the house without popping an incredibly ready to pop zit. I roll with a whole different level of swag than you could imagine

Name a better feeling than when a homie likes and saves a voice note of yours in the group text

Milk is so good, I actually drink it all the time

Is the show 24 any good or is it a total hunk of junk

Thing about me is that IF I’m getting you a Christmas gift it WILL be late

I can’t do a lot. But I CAN say “Wandisimo!” in an excited tone and sound JUST like Wanda from Fairly Odd Parents

Just sprinted to my phone because I forgot to check if Tyler was wearing sunscreen before he left the house this morning. I’m shaking right now. Just broke my television (fear that expressed itself as anger). Anyone heard from him?

It’s all about applying sun tan lotion

I don’t give a CRAP about podcasting

Bloated! What’s it to ya!

Strictly Dave and/or Cench rn

Damn just learned that the essence of wetness is actually moisture