Depressed Jason

Check out these fun, hands-on @KiwiCo projects for young scientists, artists & makers ages 0-16+. kiwico.com?utm_source=twitte…

I got an Xbox One. I like multiplayer games but all the randos online are such douchebags and no one wants to come over to my shack.

Kevin Bacon never says hi. Even that one Corey sends a card at the holidays.

For Halloween I'm going as SpongeBob. Again.

Hey guys, who wants to hang out tonight? Tell me if you're having illicit sex or doing drugs, or look like Corey Feldman and I might stop by

You never see butter brickle ice cream anymore.

Hey, you guys know what’s coming up? [wink wink wink]

You’d think more Make-A-Wish kids would wish not to die.

Is Tuesday the 13th a thing? It should totally be a thing.

Fuck, reception is shit here.

So if you #PraytoEndAbortion and there's still abortion in the morning, will you accept that god doesn't care (or exist)?

Sorry I haven't been tweeting much. Candy Crush, you understand.

I wanted Dancing Queen as my theme music, but the producers thought it would interfere with my image as a romantic lead.

If you see Michael Myers tell him Austin Powers 3 sucked. That drives him nuts.

Freddy keeps posting to FB about his Kickstarter "Dreams from My Heart: A memoir about love, life, and loss." The perks aren't even good.