Mom, Wife, Chaos organizer, Cleaner of all things, Sarcastic, In need of less whine and more wine! #momlife #marriedlife
Hiding in the closet with my thin mints,…
Joined February 2017
- Tweets7.6K
- Following1.9K
- Followers3.9K
- Likes16.7K
Momsplaining retweeted
Wanted:
A friend that has the same level of mom brain as me.
This can be demonstrated by the inability to form words, forgetting where coffee mugs are in your own home, leaving things at home daily, or spending 5+ minutes trying to remember why you walked into a room.
I’m not above playing “Doctor” with my 5 yo & having her take care of my “sick feet” where the only cure is a foot rub.
Momsplaining retweeted
Parenting is both an art and a science...
And a constant reminder that I wasn’t good at either in school, and haven’t aced it as an adult either.
Momsplaining retweeted
I'm just your Basic Mom with a fashion sense at least a decade old, who doesn't like to admit how often I use dry shampoo, and is no longer sure how to hold a normal conversation when there are no interruptions.
That's me.
#BasicMom
Momsplaining retweeted
#wcw to these amazing ladies
@Lhlodder @MotherOctopusKJ @Melicious_Mama @messsy_bun_life @sundaywithsandy @milliondollrfam @Erinbabysteps @AcciSuperMom @PerfectPending @gfishandnuggets @Toddler2Talk @MomWineRepeat @fakeadultmom @onecaringmom @momandburied1 @MomO5Tiff
Momsplaining retweeted
🏆 TWEET CALL 🏆
Today is the 38th anniversary of my escape from Mother's womb! 🎂
To celebrate, lemme see your tweets about getting older. Nothing off limits. Let your freak flag fly!
As usual, likes for all. RTs for any that make me expel air quickly from my nostrils!
Momsplaining retweeted
Marriage, day 3836362726282
I now refuse to say “bless you” to my husband when he doesn’t take his allergy meds.
Momsplaining retweeted
3- Hands are for Helping and Caring and Loving and Sharing.
Me- That's right.
3- Are you going to use your sharing hands with your cookie, mommy?
5yo: You’re the best mom a girl could ever have... I mean... you’re the only mom I have... so I guess that makes you the best.
Hmmmm, should I laugh or cry?
Momsplaining retweeted
We don’t deserve the kindness of children
We also don’t deserve tantrums or getting cussed at under their breath
It all balances out
Momsplaining retweeted
My stove top burners are VERY CLEARLY labeled front/back, right/left.
One of these days I’ll turn the right one on the first time.
Momsplaining retweeted
#FF @DWeisenfeld @MsJayLee22 @tiredmama99 @wordfromamabird @Lijabia_MamaMia @notmuchofahw @bourbonnsass @CLASSYSUNDAYS @MrsTyler78 @beans_rae @MomOf2Happas @thebookishmomma @dad_philosophy @DadSays4 @drivethruadvice @Cynical_Parent @Toddler2Talk @Musings_of_wine
Momsplaining retweeted
I miss that thing my body used to do where it wouldn’t turn against me for eating stuff like bread and cheese.