"𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘀, 𝗜'𝗱 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗻, 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗻." On 21 September, police in Darlington were called after a man walking his dog was threatened with a machete. The suspect made off on a Sur-Ron e-bike and refused to stop, riding around the town at high speed and narrowly missing pedestrians and other traffic, according to Durham Constabulary. A pursuit was authorised. Officers from the Durham Roads and Armed Policing Unit and response were on the ground, and the National Police Air Service tracked him from above, guiding officers to where he was. The bike was stung and stopped on Tornado Way. Officers seized a large machete, cocaine and £1,320 in cash. The 21-year-old admitted offences including possession of cocaine with intent to supply, dangerous driving, carrying an offensive weapon in public and failing to stop for police. On 22 October at Teesside Crown Court he was jailed for three years and banned from driving for three years. The headline? That was one officer's verdict at the roadside, after the man asked if he was going to prison. Safe to say the mortgage is fine. The e-bike didn't get a sentence. It got crushed, under Durham's Operation ORB, which crushes off-road bikes and illegal e-scooters ridden antisocially or used in crime. Chief Inspector Sarah Hindmarsh said his riding was "absolutely appalling" and that "it is only by chance that nobody was seriously injured, or worse, killed". Or, in the force's words again: "One in prison, and one bike in the crusher." Machete, cocaine and a getaway plan built on outrunning the eye in the sky... on an e-bike. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Three years inside to work out where it all went wrong, and his pride and joy has been turned into scrap. [Credit: @DurhamPolice @NPAShq] #Darlington #UKPolice

𝗖𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗮𝘆 Empty house near Ollerton. A man leaps from a second-floor window into officers' arms. Sgt Steve Pridmore says the officers "quite literally" caught a suspect. Man, 38, arrested on suspicion of burglary. [Credit: @nottspolice] #Nottinghamshire

𝗣𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗱 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗜𝘁 🐑 Insurance claims for 650 'stolen' sheep, a fraud investigation, and a flock found alive and well City of London Police's Insurance Fraud Enforcement Department (IFED) has arrested a 24-year-old man as part of an investigation into suspected fraudulent insurance claims over the alleged theft of more than 650 live sheep. He allegedly tried to fleece the insurance company. The investigation covers three claims made within 12 months on one policy, for sheep said to have been stolen from fields the suspect rented. £28,220 was paid out on two of them. The third, for £64,800, was never paid, because IFED and the insurance industry soon herd about it. Police say it is believed the reported thefts did not take place and that documents submitted with the claims may have been fraudulent. On 13 October, IFED officers carried out a warrant with the local neighbourhood policing team, the local authority and the Rural Crime Agency. Two residential addresses, a garage and two vehicles were searched, and documents and a mobile phone were seized. Then came the headcount. Officers and vets checked the number of sheep against official records, and the flock was all there, alive and well. We can only assume it took ages, because the vets and the cops kept nodding off halfway through. 😴 The man was arrested on suspicion of fraud by false representation and of making or supplying articles for use in fraud. He has been released under investigation and has not been charged. The sheep, meanwhile, aren't feeling remotely sheepish. Tempted to try the same? Ewe could end up behind baa-s. 🐑 [Credit: @citypolice] #RuralCrime #InsuranceFraud

𝗧𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗹 𝗩𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 Burglars caught digging through a wall into a Tooting jewellers are jailed At 03:12 on Friday 17 July, Met officers were called to reports of a suspected burglary on Mitcham Road in Tooting, south London. They arrived within minutes. One man was arrested straight away in a nearby alleyway. After a search of the area, officers found a second man hiding on a rooftop and put him in handcuffs. Then they looked inside. The pair had broken into a massage parlour next door to a jewellery shop, and the plan was to tunnel through the wall into the jewellers. Bags of tools and digging equipment were found inside. A third member of the group was arrested later that day at Stansted Airport as he tried to flee the country. The Met's Flying Squad linked the group to a series of burglaries across London between May and July, mainly at jewellers, worth more than £700,000 in total. Their method: tunnel in overnight and get round the security systems. All three pleaded guilty in August to conspiracy to commit burglary. On Friday 23 October at Kingston Crown Court they were sentenced to a combined ten years and two months in prison. A whole summer spent tunnelling into jewellers across London, and the grand finale was one bloke hiding on a roof, one in an alley and one trying to leg it to Ireland. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Ten years between them to plan the next one, and this time the walls are a lot thicker. [Credit: @Metpoliceuk] #MetPolice #Tooting

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗕𝗲 𝗕𝗮𝗰𝗸 Officer borrows a teenager's bike mid-chase, catches the suspect in 54 seconds, then brings it straight back Two Cambridgeshire officers were chasing a man on foot down Coldhams Lane in Cambridge, after spotting him on an e-bike. He ditched the e-bike, ran off down a track and started to pull away. So one officer spotted a teenager with a bicycle and asked, very politely, to borrow it. Just to catch the guy, quickly. A quick "we'll be back", and off he went. It took 54 seconds of pedalling to catch up. The suspect was stopped near Norman Way, and an 18-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of possession with intent to supply drugs, failing to stop and dangerous driving. He has been bailed until 16 January. And then the best bit. The bike went straight back to its owner, with a "thank you very much". Asked politely, borrowed for under a minute, returned in one piece with a thank you. Better manners than most people who borrow your lawnmower. [Credit: @CambsCops] #Cambridge #UKPolice

𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗖𝘂𝘁𝘀 Over £10 million of cocaine found under a layer of frozen meat in the PSNI's largest ever drug seizure On 11 December 2023, police in Northern Ireland stopped a van as it pulled away from a Dutch-registered articulated lorry in Jonesborough, South Armagh. They searched the lorry. At the back was a purpose-built hide: packing crates "lined with frozen meat products". Under that top layer sat a hidden compartment stashed with packages of cocaine. Estimated street value: over £10 million. The PSNI calls it the "largest ever drug seizure by the Police Service of Northern Ireland". The van driver, a 41-year-old man from Armagh, pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine with intent to supply. Today, 23 October, at Newry Crown Court, he was sentenced to six years, half in custody and half on licence. Detective Inspector Conor Sweeney said "a massive amount of cocaine was prevented from reaching Northern Ireland’s streets and neighbourhoods." Over £10 million of cocaine, and the criminal masterplan was... a layer of frozen meat. 🥩 Not so much a cunning disguise as a mixed grill with extras! Six years to cook up something better. 🤦🏻‍♂️ [Credit: @policeserviceni] #PSNI #NorthernIreland

𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝗿-𝗥𝗼𝗻-𝗱𝗲𝗱 🚔 South Wales Police has launched its own fleet of electric motorbikes to tackle crime. Usually, when a Sur-Ron turns up in a police story, it's disappearing down an alleyway with an officer on foot somewhere behind it. A standard Sur-Ron Light Bee X can reach 50mph, which doesn't help. Not this time. South Wales Police now has its own fleet of the lightweight electric motorcycles, to tackle the crimes the public raise, such as drug offences and theft. They can cut through busy, congested areas and get down the narrow roads that police cars can't. Assistant Chief Constable Tom Williams said: "This new investment is our latest tactic development to tackle criminal activity in our community." The force has also trained drone pilots and bought six new drones with Police and Crime Commissioner Emma Wools, with more tech to come. Note that anything The Met do, everyone else seems to catch on fairly quickly. So, dear Met, if you're watching this, robot dogs with laser beams for eyes please 🙏🏻 [Credit: @swpolice] #SouthWalesPolice #UKPolice

𝗡𝗼 𝗟𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗖𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗦𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗻? 🦢 South Wales Police officers in Neath give one very unimpressed swan a lift. Is there a College Learn package for this, or is it passed down cop to cop? 🚔 #HotFuzz #SouthWalesPolice

The badgers remain at large. He does not. 🦡

𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝗲 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗚𝗲𝘁𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆 Audi, lamp and dog seized after poaching calls near Faversham. Whoever ran off left one blue shoe behind. Even Cinderella only lost a slipper. This one lost the lot! 🤦🏻‍♂️ [Credit: @KentPoliceRural] #RuralCrime

Monster / other, lesser energy drinks / coffee Which team are you?

𝗟𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀, 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗮, 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 Biker goaded Kent officers into a chase, hit a stinger, and detectives used months of his own GoPro footage. 4 years, then a 10-year ban. There's stupid, and then there's STUPID. 🤦🏻‍♂️ [Credit: @kent_police] #RoadSafety

𝗞𝗲𝘆 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗲𝗿𝘀 We saw the Tesla flying-car video and assumed AI. Apparently it's real. Or not. Hard to tell which side of the looking glass we're on. Coppers have always fought over the new car keys. Add thrusters and briefing's over in seconds. #PoliceHumour #UKPolice

The Dog Was The Only One Fit To Drive A motorist saw a car weaving on the M5 and called the police. The driver blew 142 (limit 35) and got a 23-month ban and a fine. Calmest in the car? The passenger with four legs. Video and source: Avon and Somerset Police #DrinkDriving

Boston's Most Wanted PC Joshua Fulker has won Lincolnshire Police's Copper's Copper Award. His citation says suspects are known to hand themselves in to him on duty. Trust like that is earned. Well done, Joshua. 💙 📸 @lincspolice / Martin Birks #UKPolice #CoppersCopper

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗖𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗻 𝗔 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 🚁 Banned 19-year-old in a Porsche Cayenne, a stinger, then a helicopter that kept tracking him from above. Video and source: @EssexPoliceUK. NPAS footage © NPAS c/o West Yorkshire Combined Authority 2026 @NPAShq #Basildon

𝗣𝘂𝗿𝗹 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 🧶 Hi-vis, speed guns, zero fines: a Warwickshire village's knitted traffic team is out to slow drivers down. The Knit and Natter group says drivers are braking. Woolly, but watchful. [Source: BBC News Coventry & Warwickshire] #RoadSafety

𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗔𝘄𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 🧱 From brick to nick in 33 mins. Two Lego sets, Smyths Toys, Mansfield, 3.09pm. Tracked on council CCTV, arrested 3.42pm. David Ward, 44, of no fixed address, was jailed for 16 weeks. [Source: Nottinghamshire Police] #ShopTheft

𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆? 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗔 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗕𝗮𝗿? 🍫 A chocolate bar, a mate asking "Really?", and West Midlands Police's new schools film shows where it could lead: REJECTED, ENTRY DENIED, a cell door. Small choices, big consequences. [Credit: @WMPolice]

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗙𝗶𝘀𝗵𝘆 𝗢𝗻 𝗦𝗰𝗼𝘁𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱'𝘀 𝗥𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀 🐟 Operation Salmo: police and river bailiffs on patrol against fish poaching. Planning an illegal catch? You might be the one who gets hooked. Report: 101 or Crimestoppers. [Credit: @PoliceScotland]