Upper Valley Gunner

An @Arsenal fan walks into a therapist's office. He melts into the couch, dejected. The therapist asks "What's wrong?" The Arsenal fan says nothing. "Aha," says the therapist. "I think I know." The Arsenal fan looks up. "You can't shake this feeling of Henry."

Michael Oliver is on the take. #MCIARS

Watching the @Arsenal v Atalanta match and they keep referring to some guy as Jim Shitty and I’m just like “harsh but fair on Kolasinac, that.” #UCL #Arsenal #Atalanta

And now Mosquera gets away with checking Gabriel Jesus’s oil.

Saka getting a yellow for kicking a ball away and Mosquera getting nothing for clamping Havertz to the ground by the throat. Welcome to Matchday 1.

I see we’re in the “linked to Rabiot” stage of the transfer window.

I take no pleasure in seeing France creep toward any trophy, but an own goal from Vertonghen is inarguably the funniest way for that shit to go down. (Also Saliba is the best defender in the world and anyone who says otherwise needs a full medical evaluation.) #EURO2024

De Bruyne looked hella offside to me but let’s not bother to check everything is fine

Thoughtful prediction: United are fucked. #MUNARS

Fuuuuuuck me, now we’re gonna finish second to these assholes on points AND goal difference, aren’t we? #Arsenal #ManchesterCity #EPL

This is not the flex you think it is.

Nottingham Forest putting up a fight against City. Tough in the tackle, dangerous on the wings, and quick in the transition out of midfield. Deserved a goal for their efforts, but deserved means nothing. City will look to turn the screw, but everything to play for here. #NFOMCI

Happy St. Totteringham’s Day to all who celebrate. @PLCPolice #Arsenal #TOTARS

Fuck me sideways, City ain't droppin' no points for the rest of the season, are they? #BHAMCI

5-0 to the @Arsenal. Get fucked, @ChelseaFC Huge statement win heading into the away leg of the North London Derby. Going to be mad. #ARSCHE

Fuckin love how our defenders celebrate earning throw-ins and making blocks and preventing corners. Absolute madmen. Best defense we’ve had since The Invincibles era. #ARSCHE

Getting ridiculous at this point. Ben White grabs his second goal of the night - albeit accidentally if we’re being intellectually honest - and it’s 5-0 Arsenal. Madness. #ARSCHE

Another goal for Havertz. Demolishing Chelsea. Ruthless second half from the Arsenal. 4-0 to the good guys. #ARSCHE

What a ball by Odegaard, what strength from Havertz to hold off his man for the finish. 3-0 Arsenal. #ARSCHE

Cucurella being a cunt, Ben White scoring in his face, and Cucurella’s reaction: inject it into my veins. #ARSCHE