wemkenobi (@WEMwanders) header
wemkenobi (@WEMwanders) profile picture

wemkenobi

@WEMwanders

Leftist politics, minutia, and occasional observations. Coke Zero enthusiast

 Somewhere
fiverr.com/williamspkshere
Joined September 2010
  • Tweets48K
  • Following1.1K
  • Followers545
5KMedia
Photo by wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)Photo by wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)Photo by wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)Photo by wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)Photo by wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)Photo by wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)Photo by wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)Photo by wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)Photo by wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)Photo by wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)
Musk has made it so that paid blue checks can somehow make money when you engage with them. Don't let them profit off of you.
3
1
1
10
1,999
It finally happened. After 15 years of working at Attractions with the Mouse, I got fired today. Because I’m trying to fight it, I can’t really go into detail, but I made an absurd joke using a tiny 1” prop I shouldn’t have had on me, and the wrong person witnessed it.
1
4
My big concern is health insurance, followed by my other bills. If anyone knows of any employment opportunities with health insurance in the Central Florida area, let me know!
5
"I hope you get a @shoptemu ad while playing a game on your phone" is worse than wishing they step on a Lego. – at Haines City, FL
17
Remember when we got our first catholic senator and everyone was forced to stop eating meat on Fridays and had to go to weekly confession? Or when we got our first Jewish senator and everyone was forced circumcised? – at Poinciana, FL
17
"EVERYONE IS GONNA BE WEARING BURKAS" is the new "Obama's gonna take away our guns!" Who knew that a senator-elect from Michigan had so much power?
5
Happy Halloween.
Image from Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew)
2,202
30,852
305
64,797
The first time I ever got a laugh on stage was during an elementary school something where I was wearing an olive drab army uniform with a toy M-16, standing randomly on generic chorus risers. The song was "Oh How I hate to Get Up in the Morning"
1
19
When the line that said "Someday I'm going to murder the bugler", I slowly raised my toy gun in the direction of the "orchestra," knowing full well that I might be doing something wrong - and I hesitated - but the laugh I got from the crowd was worth it and planted a seed.
12
If you’re worried that your candidate is going to lose because someone else has the same first name, you have zero faith in your voters. #Alaska #DecoyDan #GOP
17
I have reached the age where nothing that could ever happen with my penis and prostate will ever feel as good as putting my feet up at the end of the day. – at Poinciana, FL
1
27
People have been saying "yes" for CENTURIES and now the kids have changed it to "bet"? I will not allow it! I WILL NOT! – at Poinciana, FL
1
100
An open car hood is the Bat-Signal for man's mansplainers. – at Poinciana, FL
2
18
It seems like only yesterday! #CharlieKirkDay #CharlieCuck @TPUSA – at Lake Buena Vista, FL
Image from wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)
1
15
Before the Prequels and Jar Jar Binks, people thought the cute "teddy bears" ruined @starwars in Return of the Jedi. Those mother fuckers were going to boil our heroes ALIVE and then eat them. The Ewoks are the most terrifying part of the Star Wars universe – at Poinciana, FL
Image from wemkenobi (@WEMwanders)
41
I miss the days when we would find out about an upcoming movie from either a trailer at the beginning of a different movie or a story in a magazine and we weren't stuck with months of rabid discourse about an entire genre hinging on it's success or failure.
24
People in glass houses shouldn't eat @YourTaylorFarms produce. – at Lake Buena Vista, FL
27
I'm trying to watch the He-Man movie, but everytime a familiar actor shows up in it, I get distracted by the idea that this shouldn't be happening to them.
25
wemkenobi retweeted
ClickHole (@ClickHole) profile picture
ClickHole
@ClickHoleAug 4
Patrick Stewart said WHAT?!
Image from ClickHole (@ClickHole)
9
139
14,821
A movie staring Ariana Grande, Zendaya Coleman-Holland, and Florence Pugh, written and directed by Greta Gerwig would do insane numbers. This needs to happen.
126
Thanks to @drink_AG1 , #explosivediarrhea isn't a concern of mine! – at Poinciana, FL
1
69
Load more