Wicked Crispy

Every time I see one of these posts I am reminded of my favorite joke that always goes over with the bros, something like two men are sitting in a diner, one in his 20s and the other in his 70s. The older man can tell the younger man is really upset and asks "are you ok son? You seem to be having a real tough time" and the younger man says "well, I just got off the phone with my girlfriend. We've been together for a few years now and she's really putting the pressure on about wanting to get married and start a family, but my folks got divorced when I was a kid and marriage just seems so scary to me. But I love her so much and I don't want to lose her. Are you married sir?" and the older man says "I am, in fact my wife and I recently celebrated our 50th anniversary." So the younger man says "that's amazing, I'd love that to be us. Do you mind me asking how did you know she was THE ONE?" The older man tells him "its actually a funny story, when I was your age I was a bit of a playboy, always going out with different women every night and it was pretty routine for me to have 2 or 3 steady girlfriends at a time. But a lot of my friends were settling down and starting families and I started thinking about how I wanted that for myself. The problem was I was seeing 3 different women at the time, and every one of them was someone I could really see building a life and a future with. All 3 were smart and funny and beautiful and I always had a great time with each of them. So I decided I'd give each one $100, that was a lot of money back then!, and tell them to do whatever they wanted with it and I figured I'd get a good idea of what kind of wife and mother they would be by how they spent it. So I gave the first girl I had been seeing the money and told her to do whatever she wanted and she said "well I tell you what I'm going to do with it, I'm going to go to the beauty parlor and get all done up, buy a new dress, and take you out on the town tonight. We'll go to your favorite restaurant and then out to a nightclub and you can make all the other fellas jealous!" And she really did look like a movie star, I was so proud to be seen with her on my arm and I thought what a fun time we would have as a couple. Well then the next day I see the second woman I'd been seeing and tell her the same thing, and she thinks for a minute and says "well, I'd hate to spend all that money on myself. If its ok I'd like to give it to my brother, you know he and his family have really been going through some hard times. He was in that awful car wreck and had to be in the hospital for weeks. They've got a lot of bills piled up from that and this would really help him and his wife out so much, is it ok if I give to them?" and I thought what a kind and generous person she was, if she was that thoughtful to her brother and his family how much more would she be with ours. Well then I see the third woman, and I give her the money and tell her the same thing. She thinks for a bit and says "I'm going to take this down to the bank and buy a savings bond with it. I don't really need anything right now but you never know what the future holds and it would be a good idea for us to start thinking about the future, this would be a good way to start." And I thought what a smart and practical woman, she'd make such a fantastic wife and mother, someone I know I could trust to make good decisions for our family." The young man looks at him and says "wow, all that must have made it an even tougher decision. How did you decide?" And the older man says "I picked the one with the biggest boobs."