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Just here. I'm waving....
Joined June 2009
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Replying to @JamieWebster94
Thank you so much for this Jamie. I have been paralysed from the neck down since 2011. Someone clicked on this tweet for me and I managed to move my hand, out stretch my index finger and stop that awful song from playing. 🙏
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The world is never going to be the same after November 5th.
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I’ve been laughing for damn straight 5 mins 😂
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Fuck. Me. Dead. Thank god I’m not a kid & using TikTok
I reverse engineered tiktok
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Ads retweeted
How Dalot washes his face.
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What kind of sick woman invents this? There isn’t a man alive who wouldn’t want to massage a woman’s breasts. Even Liberace was partial to a bit of titting up..
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Next European away game. This is getting stolen. Put your mortgage on it.
Hugo Ekitike has treated himself to a Lamborghini Revuelto in matte white, down to the very last detail! 1 of its kind in the world 🥶 #LFC
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Honestly, cannot believe that @JohnLewisRetail are pushing out Christmas adverts when some bloke is still waiting for a reply on TikTok, about the people fitting his telly and went through a water pipe…
John Lewis just had to do it didn't they? Christmas 2026.
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My last post on the Russell Brand trial reached nearly a million people, and my replies were immediately flooded with defenders insisting this was all just a coordinated establishment hit job. Well, week three just concluded at Southwark Crown Court, and the reality has gotten so much worse for anyone trying to defend him. For the last three years, Brand hid behind a podcast microphone, carefully rebranding himself as a humble, persecuted spiritual outsider. He even got baptized right after the criminal allegations broke to complete the transformation. Then he actually had to take the witness stand under oath, and the entire manufactured persona collapsed in real time. When questioned by his own barrister, Brand put on a loud theatrical performance, throwing around words like "badinage" and "loquacious" to charm the jury. But the moment the prosecution stood up to cross-examine him, the swagger completely evaporated into long, excruciating spells of dead silence. The prosecution didn't even need outside witnesses to tear him apart. They simply opened his own 2007 memoir and read his own confessions back to his face. Jurors had to sit there while the court read passages where Brand explicitly wrote that when he wanted a woman, he would "resolutely remove anything that’s in the way, until I possess the object of my desire." They read his own captions bragging about pretending to be effeminate specifically so women would lower their guard and let him into their hotel rooms. Think about that for ten seconds. He put the playbook in writing himself. As the prosecution pointed out in their closing speech, the jury isn't dealing with a media conspiracy. They are looking at six separate women spanning a ten-year timeline between 1999 and 2009. They didn't know each other. They have no personal or financial benefit to gain, and endless online abuse to endure, by having to sit in a criminal court to describe being assaulted. You can build an army of online defenders and hide behind sudden spiritual conversions all you want. But when your own published books describe treating women as objects to be possessed at any cost, the enlightened guru act is completely finished.
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When you tune in to White & Jordan on Talksport & Monkeyhead Keowns not on.
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Why can’t hackers do something useful and relatable? Don’t be fucking around with freezers. Hack into Mastercard and wipe out all evidence of spending. Lower the prices at petrol pumps. Shut down Microsoft Teams, or takedown Outlook for 72 hours. Win hearts and minds!
🚨 NEW: Britain is on alert to protect Tesco and Sainsbury's fridges amid cyber attacks on similar fridges across Europe Hackers are remotely accessing them and turning temperatures up to as high as 80C
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Dwight Yorke seeing that weirdo from Hull getting a heroes welcome after abandoning his child for 28 years
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What a read.
Hi @JohnLewisRetail the lads you sent to put my TV on the wall have burst a pipe which isn’t ideal. As much as I like the screwdriver in the pipe look it would be nice if you picked up/shot me an email cheers 🫶
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Chelsea, just give us our £125m back and take him. We've seen enough.
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Ads retweeted
Luke Shaw has been United's first-choice left-back since the iPhone 6 came out
What’s a stat that sounds fake but is 100% true?
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The Wet Bandits:
MacAllister is a PRICK
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I can’t believe we’re two months away from 2027 and the easiest way to save something as a PDF is still to lie to your computer and tell it you’re about to print it.
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I’m quite surprised that Dalglish has it in him- he’s 75 now. But fair play to him
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What the fuck is Mason Mount doing there?
When flexing online goes wrong.. This is Everton striker Thierno Barry and his girlfriend flexing their walk in wardrobe on TikTok. Barry house got burgled as he was playing against Newcastle in carabao cup.
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Aston Villa really going to far now, after those comments by @Carra23
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