def (@arkteryx) header
def (@arkteryx) profile picture
Joined October 2023
Photo by def (@arkteryx)Photo by def (@arkteryx)Photo by def (@arkteryx)Photo by def (@arkteryx)Photo by def (@arkteryx)Photo by def (@arkteryx)Photo by def (@arkteryx)Photo by def (@arkteryx)
Oh really. Would a guy with "no motion" be enrolling in a thursday evening community college ceramics class?
42
1,709
86
34,258
365,395
Ever be so high at work you press the button on your car keys to open the back door?
1
4
144
I have a coworker that i am so sure needs to see a doctor. They leave the biggest shit streaks in the toilet every single day and its genuinely pissing me the hell off, idk how to deal with this.
2
1
3
121
Also while im on the topic, there is another coworker that leaves a pile of Dude Wipes wrappers in the stall as well. All i gotta say is really? Dude wipes? And youre littering?
16
Its like this guy swallows a grenade for breakfast or something, please seek help youre fucking disgusting
23
I like a bitch thats mean as fuck and bites like a cobra
4
73
Si fueras un pedo me cosería el culo para no soltarte
1
52
Fellas when ur girl asks to look through your phone or why you havent bought her flowers in a long time just know she probably saw a meme i liked specifically for that reason
A bunch of girls with bfs follow me so i always like relationship ending ragebait memes knowing it will end up on their timelines
6
229
A bunch of girls with bfs follow me so i always like relationship ending ragebait memes knowing it will end up on their timelines
1
3
246
Oh I made a typo? Don’t gaf. Understand it or don’t
1
3
170
It sucks that you guys can’t read my tweets in my voice bc you haven’t heard me talk. It’s sounds a lot better coming from my mouth, trust.
3
2
24
708
I want her to stick her pussy in me so bad
32
1,020
93
7,433
388,514
def retweeted
every time i wanna quit smoking cigs i start encountering Cigarette Situations
74
6,459
373
37,025
531,516
Houston will be the death of me
Yall ever be stuck in 5pm traffic just screaming at the top of your lungs in the car with both hands on the wheel?
5
129
Yall ever be stuck in 5pm traffic just screaming at the top of your lungs in the car with both hands on the wheel?
1
1
3
155
Same thing with weed, i cant say no to passing it. Bad luck. Either a cop will pull up on me or the bud will retroactively get laced and fuck me up
One thing i cant do due to my OCD is say no when someone asks me for a ride, even when it inconveniences me. Theres something that tells me that if i say no, my car will break down the next day as a consequence
79
def retweeted
how do you say “nah nigga you taxin” in spanish, turkish and Chinese
61
517
40
8,099
245,529
Breaking my cock off inside her like a bee stinger and immediately dying
138
6,424
323
103,905
1,368,343
One thing i cant do due to my OCD is say no when someone asks me for a ride, even when it inconveniences me. Theres something that tells me that if i say no, my car will break down the next day as a consequence
1
3
150
...
331
13,051
840
281,037
5,816,091