Mama by grace, Single by choice, Crazy by default
Joined January 2019
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Do you ever get so annoyed with a TV show character's life choices that you stop watching for awhile and hope they learn their lesson?
#ineedtogetoutmore
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There is a reason toddlers can't wear mood rings...they would look like this for 5 minutes then explode
MamaRama retweeted
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”
- Me to my kids, in front of the refrigerator eating cold, leftover jalapeño poppers.
MamaRama retweeted
My kid had to retake his ear exam and the doctor asked me if I'd noticed any issues with his hearing. I'm like, yo... a parent is the last person you should be asking. I didn't even know his ears came with a listening function
My toddler when I try to explain that the hotel TV just plays what it wants and we have to watch the commercials
#kidsbespoiled
MamaRama retweeted
3 is taking way too long in the bathroom. I go in to investigate.
3: Look! If I do this I flatten out my tentacles!
Me: *backs out slowly*
When your kid falls asleep at 4pm and you know that your night is going to be hell but you can't give up the silence just yet
#5minswithouthearingmama
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MamaRama retweeted
Parents that give their babies grown up names weird me out. It’s like aww, he’s so cute, and no I don’t want to play with Herbert, but can he help me with my taxes?
Sure kids are a lot of work but on the upside you never have to worry about missing your checkout time in a hotel
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You never realize how fucked up the English language is until you witness your child trying to learn it.
#englishmakesnosense
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My 3yo had a tantrum today because his pants had fake pockets and he couldn't put his "treasures" (a rock, crumpled up receipt and acorn) in them. And to be honest, I totally agreed with him.
#screwfakepockets
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If we were meant to drink so much water, why isn't there caffeine in it?!
#coffeebeatswater
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