MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust) profile picture

MamaRama

@bedtimeorbust

Mama by grace, Single by choice, Crazy by default

Joined January 2019
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  • Followers53
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Photo by MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust)Photo by MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust)Photo by MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust)Photo by MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust)Photo by MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust)Photo by MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust)Photo by MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust)Photo by MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust)Photo by MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust)Photo by MamaRama (@bedtimeorbust)
MamaRama retweeted
Darla (@ddsmidt) profile picture
Darla
@ddsmidt20 Feb 2015
I'm sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn't really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
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[running into my ex] Ex: omg it’s you Me: yeah Ex: we should exchange numbers Me: I don’t think that’s a good idea Ex: you backed into my car though Me: look we've both moved on
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“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” - Me to my kids, in front of the refrigerator eating cold, leftover jalapeño poppers.
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My kid had to retake his ear exam and the doctor asked me if I'd noticed any issues with his hearing. I'm like, yo... a parent is the last person you should be asking. I didn't even know his ears came with a listening function
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3 is taking way too long in the bathroom. I go in to investigate. 3: Look! If I do this I flatten out my tentacles! Me: *backs out slowly*
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Parents that give their babies grown up names weird me out. It’s like aww, he’s so cute, and no I don’t want to play with Herbert, but can he help me with my taxes?
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Teacher: Your son hit one of the other kids. Mike Tyson’s Dad: Awethome.
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Reading "The Teddy Bear Picnic" 2: What's that? Me: Teddy Bear 2: What's that? Me: Teddy Bear 2: What's- Me: They're all teddy bears. Everyone is a teddy bear, on every page. 2: *stares in my eyes, pointing slowly* what's that? Me: *sigh* teddy bear #reading #momlife #parenting
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People say you can't really imagine how awful life inside North Korea is. But frankly I've been living under the control of tiny dictators for years. So yeah......I think I can. #parenting #dadlife
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Toddler: Want to play with me? Me: Okay! Toddler: Sit here. Me: [sits] Okay. Toddler: NO YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! Me: Okayyyyyyyy.
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Forget Lamaze and Breastfeeding and parenting classes. If you really want to prepare for kids get a law degree and spend a summer in the rodeo.
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I feel like I’d be a much better parent if I didn’t have to do it every day.
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Oh, you don't let your kids have screen time? That's cool. I just decompressed and got a fuck ton of shit done while my kids watched Netflix.
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"And now for my second act" - me, walking back to the bathroom after I've had my coffee
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Replying to @CatsVsHumanity @SnarkyMommy78
I just ate Nutella out of the jar, but it's ok cuz I had celery for lunch
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MamaRama retweeted
The Dad (@thedad) profile picture
The Dad
@thedad25 Feb 2019
*orders pizza* Me, when the doorbell rings 20 mins later: who the fuck is this now
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MamaRama retweeted
Carbosly (@Carbosly) profile picture
Carbosly@Carbosly25 Feb 2019
Me: *buying one beer, one carrot, one potatoe & one steak* Cashier: you must be single? Me: yes, lol. How did you know? Cashier: you’re ugly.
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JOKER: So, Batman, we finally meet. BATMAN: Dude, you missed with the lipstick, by, like, a lot.
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*5 min into The Little Mermaid* Daughter: man this movie really makes me want seafood
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MamaRama retweeted
ugh* (@heatherlou_) profile picture
ugh*@heatherlou_22 Feb 2019
I was hoping I’d get better with age but instead I got back pain.
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