@bobby

the goat of all time.

 i'm on the computer
Joined December 2008
  • Tweets93.2K
  • Following568
  • Followers71.1K
13.6KMedia
bobby retweeted
dom hofmann
@dhofJul 14
excited to share a new toy called bash. it’s a multiplayer coding agent with social built around it starting with invites and a waitlist, and we’ll open it up as quickly as possible bash.tv
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bobby retweeted
bobby
@bobby8 Jan 2017
this snowy day reminded me of the most insane video of all time
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(Repairing wrecked boat village boy approaches with picture from my pack) Bahu bah? {Monster} Me: No bahu bah. Marmaduke…Buha bet {Friend} Boy: Mar-ma-duke…Your? Me: Not mine. Everybodys. {confused look} he is…like Wind. Everyones Boy {grinning} Marmaduke is like Wind
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Happy #OpeningDay & let’s go @Mets!!
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(pressing my face really hard against a wall during an argument with my wife) I want some candy so bad right now
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bobby retweeted
Patrick Doran@lunch_enjoyer29 Nov 2023
what if you were at the thrift store and you saw a pair of jeans you liked but you looked at the tag and it was the chipotle logo and it said “chipotle clothing co.” ?
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bobby retweeted
bobby
@bobby9 Apr 2018
[holding a playstation controller while i watch Friends and pretending i'm controlling chandler]
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Big Boi: To’ up. from the flo’ up, while I growed up, swimmin in go-re-gous Flo-ri-da women but this pimp reside in Georgia. Coroner. Report I hope insurance shored up. Might have your rates turned up before them boys turn the corna. Andre 3000: She trapped in my cadmium palace
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Grown up sized white baby I’m friends with: The way I be drinking this damn apple juice…ooh chile😂 Me: You can’t be talking like that White Baby.
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bobby retweeted
bobby
@bobby11 Jun 2017
me when i realize it's gonna be 94 degrees today
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bobby retweeted
bobby
@bobby5 Sep 2017
gang.
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bobby
@bobby30 Sep 2021
i think this is the first internet video that has fully burrowed into my brain since vine died. i've been walking around mumbling it to myself like a psycho for like two weeks.
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bobby retweeted
bobby
@bobby29 Dec 2019
all women want to look like cindy crawford. all men want to look like the berserker uruk-hai suicide bomber from the battle of helm's deep.
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this morning I got a drink from 7/11, and the cashier said “you could get two more if you wanted”, and so I got two more because I thought she meant there was a promo. but there wasn’t a promo, I just paid full price for three of the same drink. why did she do this?
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Orangutan coworkers be like “What did you have for lunch? I had two oranges, one apple, one coconut, two mangos, three limes, ten lemons, one papaya, a guava, fifty five grapes, and ten kiwis”
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bobby retweeted
Patrick Doran@lunch_enjoyer13 May 2023
one time i was really drunk at a mcdonalds and i ordered a 20 piece nugget with every single sauce because i wanted to try them all out and the lady behind the counter said “oh no…we do not do that here”
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At the gas station just now a nickel fell out of my pocket and hit my shoe before landing perfectly on its side. Turned around to show the guy standing behind me in line and he was blown away and said "that's how you know none of this is real"
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bobby retweeted
bobby
@bobby17 Aug 2018
a fun game you can play by yourself or with a friend is Does He Have A Goatee Now? the way it works is you think of a guy from your high school and you ask yourself "does he have a goatee now?" and then you look him up on facebook and see if you're right.
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I do not give a flying FUCK about Fonts... Weirdo shit.
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