Olu.wa.seyi.

I have addressed this topic before, but I will shed more light on it again. You must learn how to disappoint and disobey your parents very early in life. My life changed for good the first time my father told me he was disappointed in me. I was so happy because he had no idea how badly I had looked forward to hearing those words from him. I didn’t do anything bad. I just started living life in a way that made sense to me, and some of my new values bothered him, especially because I’m from a veryyy religious home. Mind you, he didn’t have a problem with those things. It was basically about “what will people say?” People I don’t give a flying fvck about, by the way. I was particularly happy because I had spent my teenage years pleasing them and never wanted to do anything that would disappoint them. Here’s the thing: they’ll eventually get used to the new programme and adjust. Let me burst your bubbles. It got to a point where my parents told me they weren’t comfortable with me going to the gym and that I should stop. They asked why I couldn’t devote the time I spent at the gym to the church instead. I made it VERY clear to them that if they EVER said anything negative about me going to the gym again, they’d never hear from me again, and I was déadass. Now, when my mum calls me, she asks if I’ve been to the gym that day yet. The freedom you want from your parents comes from rebellion. You just have to make sure that, while at it, you aren’t a nuisance to society or an embarrassment to your family in the literal sense of the word. They won’t approve of your piercings, tattoos, having a boyfriend or girlfriend, living alone, keeping dreads, tinting your hair, etc., but if it makes you happy, do it anyway. I promise you, they’ll be fine, and they’ll eventually come back to compliment the very things they once criticised. They do not have a problem with you per se. What people will say is their problem. Some of you still have curfews at 27 years old. You don’t have the guts to tell your parents that you’re dating. You have your own money but can’t move out because they won’t allow you to. You even have to mute them on WhatsApp before posting pictures of yourself showing cleavage at an Owanbe. That is a sad way to live life. They just want to use you to correct their mistakes. They see you as an extension of themselves, and you have to refuse to be that. This is also why you must start finding ways to make money for yourself very early. Being dependent on your parents, especially 100% financially, gives them the leverage to take away your autonomy. You spent your teenage years impressing and pleasing your parents, and now that you’re almost 30, you’re scared to disappoint them even though you’re not going astray? Pathetic! Rebel today. They’ll be fine, walahi.