the garbage shit boy retweeted
.@20thcenturyfox there's still time
the garbage shit boy retweeted
just landed a sweet new gig. im helping dracula buy a house. and before you ask the answer is yes. i can eat as many bugs as i want
the garbage shit boy retweeted
Arnold Palmer: get me a refreshing drink
Bartender: try this, its lemonade and iced tea
Palmer: Mm..its good..I just invented it
the garbage shit boy retweeted
in 2005 me and my college buddies made the turkey carcass into a bong. happy Thanksgiving everybody
the garbage shit boy retweeted
me, to shovel salesman: [at a shovel store] how’s this do with like dirt & stuff?
shovel salesman: i’m not gonna bullshit you it’s pretty good
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(Leatherface bursts onto the screen wielding a chainsaw and wearing a mask made out of someone else's face)
Me to the kid i'm babysitting: He represents Grief
the garbage shit boy retweeted
There is a button on my microwave that says "super clown" and I do not ever push that button
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me making $8/hr at a drive thru in 2011: god, this fucking sucks. i hope things are better 10 years from now.
god: i can make one of the senators bisexual i guess
the garbage shit boy retweeted
the cvs cashier asked me how im doing as i put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. "not great man ive got diarrhea" i told him
the garbage shit boy retweeted
added the dancing robot footage over Gil Scott-Heron's "Whitey On The Moon" just to see how it'd sync up
the garbage shit boy retweeted
[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy
[friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?
the garbage shit boy retweeted
A saga of human will and triumph. Of flying too close to the sun; of descent. And finally - of rebirth.


























