Daniel jackson

Any healthy benefits I may receive from eating organic fruit is negated by the amount of sticker glue that I end up eating.

According to these #superbowlcommercials you can tell the quality of father you are by the car you drive. #SuperBowlXLIX #toyota #Nissan

Are you a distant father who's son is acting out due to a lack of a father figure? Well then you need a #Nissan #superbowlcommercials

I think I could break the 100m world record if it started by taking a bagel out of the toaster and the counter was 100m away. #itburns

A guy on the discovery channel tried to be eaten alive by a huge anaconda snake, but he failed.... He Must not have had buns Hun.

I feel I've earned the privilege of increasing thread count...

So far today has been 'extra Monday'

That horrible feeling of guilt when you pass a lemonade stand and you either don't have any money on you or you're running too late to stop.

When you finish folding and putting away all your laundry and you don't want to wear anything because you want it all to stay clean...

Homeboy In a huge dodge blasts by me right before single lane construction zone. Pulled over immediately on the other side. 👏👏👏