Anti-Belgian propagandist. Author of Lower Forms of Life and Other Unconfirmed Reports.
Joined October 2009
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Dost thou remember
The second fortnight of September
— Earth, Wind & Fire Are the Only Elements We Know About So Far
“Your teeth are in a pitiful state, Mr. Bond. Too many sweets, I’d wager. I could suggest something else you might like to eat instead.”
James McArthur had two saves against St. Louis in one day yesterday, and I can’t find a single sportswriter saying that he left the mound after the first game saying “I shall return.” A black mark on the profession
I saw the supposed mega-flop FURIOSA in a big theater on a Tuesday in its second week of release. The theater was full. From the screens showing what seats were sold, it looked like basically every movie in this 20-screen multiplex was full... (1/3)
...no matter how unsuccessful they've been at the box office overall. Why? Because Marcus Theatres does discount tickets on Tuesdays. It's like this every Tuesday there. People keep saying the bad box office numbers are because the theatrical experience has degraded, or... (2/3)
CVS was playing all Christmas music before switching to “Let’s Hear It for the Boy.” Has “the Boy” always actually been Baby Jesus??
Since the saying "low man on the totem pole" is appropriative and probably not okay to say anymore, I propose the alternative "back end of the human centipede"
The @Athletics this season have rookies named “Gelof” and “Erceg,” which both sound like Jumble clues you can’t solve.
Industry experts foresee a weak box office performance for the upcoming TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE BEASTS, as 19 states have banned movies with “Trans” in the title
Coming up next on the XXX Soap Opera Network, it’s GENITAL HOSPITAL, followed by GAYS OF OUR WIVES and ALL MY STEPCHILDREN
Don’t get me wrong, I’m gonna see it, but WOMEN TALKING sounds like a fake movie in a sitcom that Kevin James’s wife drags him to when FAST & FURIOUS 12 is playing in the next theater
