crying out the crazy
the front stoop
Joined April 2011
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My 68 year old mom, with no uterus, fertility issues, 3 adopted kids, talking about RFK Jr: “he’s such a nut. I always loved the name Kennedy for a kid and now I can’t use it.”
TLOASG is to Taylor as Connquest is to Conner4Real in Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, and I hope she has one real friend to tell her that her dogshit pancakes are bad.
I hope the girl parked next to me at the gym who threw a plan b box and empty monster can out of her car window has a good day <3
For my birthday I either want a raccoon to show up on my doorstep and claim me as its mother, or Andy Samberg.
I had to have my uterus and the 6.5 pound fibroid attached to it violently ripped from my body, so I can’t leave the couch for 6 weeks. So bored. One like and I will text every man that ghosted me last year.
Heidi retweeted
If they made a billion episodes of Righteous Gemstones I'd watch a billion episodes of Righteous Gemstones.
sometimes I’m like “WOW I can’t believe what a good mood I’m in, I should text every friend I have and tell them I love them, life is so good” and then I remember I took my adderall and this will wear off in four hours
