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LATEST: Katie Zacharia goes back to her old job at Macy's

OMG Who did this?

At least Katie Zacharia has her career as a lawyer to fall back on.

Someone called Ukraine’s Bombing of Russian Bot Farms “Operation: Quiet Piggy" now I cant unhear that

Prince released his fourth studio album ‘Controversy’ (1981) 45 years ago this week | Listen to the album + read our tribute by @tenelson65 here: album.ink/PrinceCont

You couldn't even take on the singer from the band Keane let alone Roy

Team Frank. Forever.

No speaking Italian to the goats.

The plane was seconds from hitting the ground so I fought impossible g-forces, broke into the cabin, tackled an armed man, tied him up with headphones, and remembered what I'd learned from Air Craft Investigation to fly the plane. If you don't believe this, you're an antisemite.

IYKYK

It's Friday , time for the Cure.

First rule about CD Burning: don't talk about CD Burning.

TROY PARROTT THAT IS UNREAL WHAT A GOAL 🇮🇪🦜

When the Fairford plot fell apart before it had got going, I honestly thought that was the end of it. The whole thing was so stupid that the internet saw through our lies and we just gave up trying. I mean our story was that “Middle-Eastern-looking boys” circled around a military base on high alert while the MoD ignored calls from the public, then blocked off a road with their vans until a plucky farmer chased them into the woods where they politely waited for 40 minutes for the police to arrive. When social media users took the piss out of our script, the false flag was officially called off. The police released the lads on bail and said they were a bunch of British nationals with no explosives. Obviously, there was no way they would’ve been let out if there was the slightest indication of terrorism. Therefore, we couldn’t possibly change our minds again, or so I thought. It turns out I was wrong. Andy Burnham is now saying there was evidence of Iranian involvement after all—just not enough to detain the lads for the legally allowed 14 days. If you’re confused about how we got to this point, let me explain. My sources tell me that after Trump and Rubio expressed concerns about the lads being released, they got on the phone and said: “Andy, you’re ruining our psy-op. We need to pretend they are terrorists so we can continue using Fairford to escalate against Iran.” I’ve got no idea how we convince anyone now. All I know is that Burnham apologised for fucking things up and politely asked Mossad if he can have its assets back. The whole thing is a huge, uncoordinated mess. To make matters worse, the Israelis are currently dealing with their latest botched false flag, involving a pretend hijacking of an airliner. Poor Netanyahu has an electorate to manipulate and he needs that escalation against Iran before polling day. He angrily told Trump and Burnham to get their story straight if they don’t want to face an “exploding smart phone incident”. Andy gulped and threw his iPhone in the bin. To clarify, the official position is now that we think the lads are Iranian terrorists who tried to blow up a military base with no explosives, and they are free to try it again…. Hold on, I’m getting an update on WhatsApp… We’re now saying it was actually a “dry run”. The reason the lads drove around in circles and made themselves super-conspicuous was “preparation”. They had to get close to the base because it’s not like they could launch drones from tens of miles away. Just know that if they do launch drones, our media helpfully flew over the base and showed the locations of all the stealth bombers. If our latest story was remotely true it would be hugely concerning, but luckily no one’s worried because they all know this is a load of bollocks. I honestly don’t know who we’re tying to kid here.

BREAKING: Kash Patel offered to personally oversee the security of the two pandas Xi gave trump.

Mark Hamill turns 75 today 🎂

A huge thank you to all the Irish fans for being such incredible guests! 🇮🇪 The world truly needs more friends and people like you. 🇽🇰❤️🇮🇪