Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum) header
Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum) profile picture

Time-traveler. Raconteur. Former clump of cells. Cheap gasoline enthusiast. Old man dad. Relax, I don't vote.

Joined November 2019
Photo by Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum)Photo by Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum)Photo by Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum)Photo by Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum)Photo by Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum)Photo by Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum)Photo by Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum)Photo by Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum)Photo by Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum)Photo by Beef Swellington🍌 (@foundgum)
I'm shocked the venue owners let her onto the stage. It must have required one hell of an engineering review to ensure everyone's safety.
Replying to @katy4congress
Except I didn’t. You attacked me for “claiming to be a millionaire,” and then flipped out when I proved I was a millionaire. How about tell us a single policy, piece of legislation, anything. This is why I crushed you in our debate, I’m shocked your handlers let you on the stage
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I'll be eternally grateful to @lone_rides for introducing me to the hilarious fun of telling commie dickwads that their psycho hero had the personal hygiene of a feral pig.
Mao's body odor stank like roadkill, and his breath reeked of hot garbage. He was also a murderous psychopath.
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FAR Part 103 is a rare case of the federal regulatory machine not being total killjoy dorks. It basically says, "Some people are not risk-averse. To those people we offer this: go ahead and do dumb shit in the sky, just minimize the potential impact to the normies on the ground below you."
The U.S. spends a trillion dollars a year on formal defense. It also has guys like this. Danko flies a wood-and-fabric MiniMax under FAR Part 103 rules. No pilot certificate required. No medical. Just a sub-254 lb aircraft, a Kawasaki 440 snowmobile engine, and whatever else he feels like bringing along. In recent clips he’s shirtless with a handgun on his hip, low-leveling over fields and runways like it’s a normal Tuesday. These aren’t theoretical “armed civilians.” They’re people who already own the tools, already operate outside the usual regulatory boxes, and already treat self-reliance as normal. Formal military power is real. So is a large, dispersed population that is comfortable with both flying and carrying. The combination is awkward for anyone who prefers their adversaries neatly organized and easy to target.
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Who the hell texted me "Pull my finger"?
BREAKING: Scientists develop technology that allows people to digitally transmit smells across the world, potentially bringing scent to phone calls, video chats, & social media.
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"Add 3 seconds to the game clock so the Bears can trip over their own dicks" -NFL ref
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31 NFL teams' legal offices are scrambling to get their owners on the phone ASAP.
Wow. Much respect to #Titans HC Robert Saleh for explaining the DT Jordan Elliott gun situation. “My message to 31 other teams: If you need a hell of a run-stopping D-tackle that can help on a playoff run, give me a call. I'll tell you everything you need to know about him. He’s a good man. Had a terrible lapse in judgment. I recognize it as a call for help. Not a criminal act.” Watch this full answer:
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Dude's never heard of the Super Bowl halftime show? We've got strong national musical tradition pouring out of our ass!
Francis Fukuyama: "The lack of a strong national musical tradition contributes to the weakness of American national identity."
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Come try and steal my stuff and I'll provide an alternative opinion.
Killing/Permanently scarring people is indeed worse than stealing.
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I'm a lifelong Cubs fan and I'm beyond stoked that the Brewers made their way into the World Series. Milwaukee has been building something fun to watch for several years now. Whatever grief exists in the nascent rivalry between the Cubs and Brewers has gone out the window and remains there until the Brewers win it all. At home.
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Weirdo fraud bullshitter who gleefully had Newsom and Hunter Biden on his show has *standards*, dontchaknow.
Leah, I chose not to release your episode because I personally had serious concerns about the truthfulness of your statements. I take what I put out on my platform seriously for myself and for my listeners. For the sake of transparency, here's the full interview so everyone can watch and draw their own conclusions. As for my investments, I've intentionally made them public, as you see on my LinkedIn. I invest in Shield AI and Anduril for no other reason than I believe in their ability to develop technology that equips and protects the American warfighter. That's something deeply personal to me that I believe in. @leahfiles
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More like a month at Great Wolf Down the Buffet
Killer mom drained husband's 401(k) for Great Wolf Lodge trip before hacking him, son to death: step-mom trib.al/VFqNQBw
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I'm kinda irritated that Ilhan Omar has overtaken the important headline that we should all be excited about today: Oregon has been dropped from the CFB rankings.
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How *dare* they do such a thing on Indigenous Peoples' Day when International Clown Week was available to them.
BREAKING EXCLUSIVE: Rep. Ilhan Omar's home was raided by Homeland Security Investigations this morning. Fox News Digital has photos and video from the scene. @FoxNews
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The mustache lives on forever in our hearts.
NFL legend Mike Ditka, who revolutionized the tight end position before becoming the head coach of the world champion 1985 Bears and a towering figure in the city of Chicago, has passed away, his family announced. He was 86.
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Some of the comments from the legalologists of X... Sheesh. Some folks are gonna learn a thing or two about § 1983 lawsuits, starting with that fat ass in the cop costume.
If any cop deserves to be fired, it's this one. A father was BRUTALLY ATTACKED by Sgt. Eddie Price of the Mena PD because he was demanding answers. His 2 year old son is missing and they refuse to help despite a judges order, so they arrested the father instead.
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I'll reserve my opinions until the internet alcohologists have a chance to educate us.
🚨CREEP ALERT🚨 A Maryland bartender allegedly took off her pants and began masturbating on an American Airlines flight when she was flying to Miami. According to a filing, Katy Inzer “remove(d) her pants and began to actively masturbate while making inappropriate sounds." When police confronted Inzer in Florida, they smelled and witnessed, “a strong odor of alcohol beverage and bloodshot eyes." I thought I had it bad, apparently all the creeps fly American Airlines. DOCUMENT CREDIT: The Smoking Gun
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It's I Have To Wear Pants To Work weather. Gross.
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Basic Training
Name a place you have been to, but have no desire to visit again?
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Dear @MLB Take notes. Sincerely, All of baseball fandom
The NFL confirmed today that line judge Jeff Seeman has been suspended for two games and referee Adrian Hill has been suspended for one game, each for an instance of unprofessional conduct toward a player in Sunday’s Arizona-New York Giants (Seeman) and Miami-Minnesota games (Hill). The suspensions were issued by NFL Vice President of Officiating Ramon George.
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