Sam Glassoff

An incredible story by @shmerlsc in the @nytimes, featured on the @TennisChannel! 👏 @NYTObits

when you go to the apple orchard and say “oooh let’s pick red delicious” but then you eat the apples and have 0 idea what you’re eating nor do you care

A brilliant alternative to this year’s @usopen by my brilliant mom @shmerlsc. Take a read. tennis.com/pro-game/2020/06/…

pour one out for all the bread baskets you get at restaurants before ordering... miss u all sm 🥖

Truly nothing better than watching your mom on TV. @shmerlsc @TennisChannel 👏🌟 ps: yes that’s my hand print behind her 😉

If you eat your first breakfast fast enough, you’re not full when it comes time for your second breakfast. Tweeting for a ... friend?

First day in London and Sam was already asked if he’s Nick Jonas. Guna be a good trip.

I love @StaplesStores so much. In fact, I tell everyone to go to #Staples. Staples, can I be your brand ambassador?

Accidentally came to @Mets #GameofThrones night so instead of booing the other team, I booed the screen when a preview came on

#Superbowl was so much better with the @Eagles 💚

Instagram should take a page out of Twitter’s book and implement the “Top” & “Latest” tabs at the top of the app. #Instagram #InstagramUpdate #Twitter

Don’t care if it looks creepy when I chase the ice cream truck. If I hear that jingle you better believe I’ll be ...

Is @kanyewest Amanda Bynes 2.0? Chill.

Almost tagged my boyfriend in this today but then realizes I’m more of a French fry than he is so I waited for him to eventually see it and tag me. God I love #280charcters