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An Uber driver once told me not to marry the man who pulls a Busch Light out of his pants at a bar. Last night I shoved 3 in my bibs before going downtown. Oh how the turns have tabled.
Jess Heberlie retweeted
Remember it takes 2 people to ruin a relationship
Him & his mother for raising him that way
You did nothing wrong sis
Jess Heberlie retweeted
Losing an hour on international women’s day weekend. Naw that don’t sit right with me
Jess Heberlie retweeted
if they abolish OSHA i will use the forklift for evil
Jess Heberlie retweeted
“He said, let’s change the Gulf of Mexico to the gulf of America.
We could have had our first female President.”
Jess Heberlie retweeted
A guy will text me “Good Morning” and I’ll literally be like I can’t fucking do this
Jess Heberlie retweeted
My friend did a hear me out presentation at new years.
Here was some of her takes:
Jess Heberlie retweeted
simply a reminder that even though you may not be in Vancouver tonight, one of your friendship bracelets might be🥹






















