Someone unfollowed me immediately when i mentioned a wife on a joke. Look at my tweets, you think im in stable relationship?

Do mexicans take anti-anxiety medication for hispanic attacks

This girl and I were making out on the couch and she said ”let’s take this upstairs” and i said ”okay you grab one end, ill get the other”

My friend actually went to prison, lost his business, house and eventually even got raped… now he’s convinced everyone plays monopoly like that

Hello

Wife told me sex on vacation feels a lot better. I never want to receive postcards again

If i was a book would you read me

As a european, these sayings are so weird to me. ”Come hell or high water”? Im choosing high water everytime. Even drowning feels preferable to what i’d be subjected to in ”cum hell”

My dick get icky sticky off the foid fumes. When its humid, it feels like getting shot by cupid. So stupid

Almost a 100 followers, i get so hard off the new oomfs bro keep going

I wonder if martin luther king ever had a nightmare and was just like ”i had a bad dream”

I know for a fact some of u oomfs tie ur hair back to eat a banana

As a perverted white man. The first thing I’d do if i woke up with a vagina would be to start an argument over nothing, lose all self-accountability and crash my car

Is there a pill similar to Viagra that instead gets rid of boners? There would be a market for them. I know a guy.

AI doesn’t threaten me. AI isn’t about that life, you know you accountants are going to lose your jobs but me? I’m an unemployed drunk. AI won’t say the n-word, ai wont show his cock to waitresses. I’m not scared one bit

I hate not being able to sleep. Last night I stayed up looking through my window until 3 a.m. I saw a man molest someone, kill them, AND dispose of the body. I’m afraid I’m gonna be next—not that he saw me watching, but he certainly heard me clapping.