Why did this swarm of 20-somethings appear on my otherwise-deserted patio? Like a plague descending upon Egypt.
Me: *in a great mood for the last two weeks*
My brain: “Hmmm, seems like a great night to have a confusing and upsetting dream about someone from your past…”
Jamie retweeted
I saw my shadow this morning. Which means that I will still be grouchy for at least six more weeks. #GroundhogDay
Me, watching the standing man who refused a seat and is continually falling on everyone because he won’t hold the bus handrails but has HIS GROCERY BAG SITTING ON THE BUS FLOOR.
The best part about a day with cold, below zero temps is when I cook myself in the shower like a seafood boil.
This morning’s rush hour CTA commute:
• Bus route option 1: “Next arrival in 20 mins”
• Bus route 2 (two blocks further): “No scheduled arrivals”
• Nearest L stop: no one on platform because a homeless man is shouting threats there
CTA IS A MESS @chicagomayor @JBPritzker
After seeing a dating profile that said “I’m a communist witch!” I waved my finger at my phone like Dikembe Mutombo and said out loud “not in my house!”
My self care routine is listening to J.Lo’s “Let’s Get Loud” while swiping no to everyone I see on a dating app.
Salivating like a dog that ate grass after opening this trash chute and gale force trash winds blew into my face. How/why?
I ordered chicken enchiladas and got chicken parmesan, which is not an Atlantis Morisette lyric but my actual lunch experience.
A new fall, a NEW very old person who throws birdseed down right at my bus stop? Nothin’ like a swarm of pigeons.
