In case A.I. runs amok in the near future, I've got The Internet backed up.

I used to think the point of higher education was that young people came out of it smarter than when they went in. Currently, thanks to political indoctrination by hard-left academics, the opposite seems to be happening.

“To lose one cricket match from an unassailable position may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose two looks like carelessness.” #PAKvENG

Minor annoyances no. 3742 - you're convinced you're about to sneeze and then... nothing happens.

'2.00 a.m. Sunday 25th October' has announced that it will self-ID as '1.00 a.m. Sunday 25th October'.

Can't shake the notion that 'polyamorous' means someone with a parrot fetish. 🦜😬

Just eaten a fruit scone which I'm pretty sure was 95% raisins, 5% scone.

Is there a contest between The New Statesman and The Guardian to find out which one can be the fastest publication to utterly destroy its reputation?

'Top surgery' and 'bottom surgery' are just twee euphemisms for gratuitous bodily mutilation.

'Still Alive', the brilliant end-title song from the video game Portal, charmingly sung by the rogue A.I. which has been trying to kill you during the latter stages of the game. youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKR…

This might mark me as a grumpy old git (probably fair), but I don't understand why every goal scored from the half-way line is immediately declared 'goal of the season'.

I know I'm a pop music obsessive because if I glance at a digital clock and it says 19:10, my first thought is 'Fruitgum Company'.

There's an Australian football team called Macarthur FC and I'm a little disappointed their home ground isn't called Macarthur Park.

My team have now fallen into the League 2 relegation zone. 👎 On the plus side, we're only 5 points outside the play-offs. 👍 #rufc #ClutchingAtStraws

The vast majority of trans accounts on here are bots / trolls with anime avatars and a handful of followers, pushing the same cut-and-paste drivel to a rapidly diminishing audience. If we don't respond, they'll eventually wither away.

- What would you call a heavily-bearded man who makes earthenware items? - Hairy Potter.

I miss the days when TV ads were mostly for food, drink, cleaning products and domestic appliances.