Jim Stanton

Thou shall not Covid thy neighbour's ass.

Pottering - a half hour podcast of me just doing stuff around the house and singing jingles about what I'm doing under my breath "planting marigolds/ gotta turn the soil/ putting the jug on/ hot hot boil boil" #bigideasbigdreams

To all those men wimpering about missing takeaways or barista made coffee or KFC or whateves, this is what it feels like when you stick to the no-go food list when pregnant.

"@CarnageSimon its almost 9, your gonna miss your bus!" Haha haha lol

Just watching a big fat rat gambol through my garden. What a time to be alive.

It's amazing how already you can see nature repairing itself now we are all staying home. Just this afternoon I saw a Moa in my garden. Just breathtaking.

Watching the #Nzfringe2020 awards through my fogged up hazmat suit. Not wearing it because of covid19 but because my three year does noxious toots. Pray for me.

I don't know why I say "egh its only Thursday" as if reaching the weekend would have any discernible difference to my life.

Ooo yiiissss sold all me tickets so had to add 10 more per night! This is 0% due to my twitter presence! #TryHard #NZFRINGE2020

For those of us with small children all grocery shopping is panic buying #getingetout #gogogo #panicshopping

I need to get to The Warehouse today to buy a yoga mat to make a starfish costume for my three year old for Seaweek and I only have 30 minutes to do so. This is some EXTREME Mr Maker shit #MisterMaker #whywhywhy

Was feeling a little disheartened my ticket sales had stopped moving. Turns out I was looking at the same ticket sales report from a few weeks ago...actually very close to selling out. #TryHard #MassiveSellout #Huge35SeatArena #BasicallyBeyonce

My kids are watching original Sonic the Hedgehog while I stare at the wall. Family time is SO IMPORTANT!!

I'm sad not to be gay. I saw a business describe LGBTQ employees as Rainbow Staff. It sounds most delightful.

It's barely 8pm and I'm in bed in a handmade nightie with cup of tea. #earlysettlerlyfe

I'm a chronic sleep talker and my husband is pretty used to it but still was startled late last night when I commanded "TORU, WHA!" 🎶🎶🎶

What is Sparkling Duet a duet of? I'll be peeved if its just hydrogen and oxygen.

I rejoined Twitter for this. Don't make me regret it.

First day of school for my daughter and we get asked to stay behind to speak to the teacher...this does not bode well for the next 13 years. #uhoh