benadryl enthusiast

Aye there’s the rub

Showed up to a birthday party with unwashed hair and it was full of the baddest bitches I’ve ever seen. Had me contemplating suicide

Got so high at the movies to see Godzilla I didn’t notice I was watching the wrong movie for 20 minutes

Mfw too many people left weed and cigarettes at my house and now I’m not allowed to host parties anymore

What the fuck was I talking about

Haven’t thought about my ingrown toenail in days. Bigger fish to fry

Twitter is where everyone comes to talk about how they’re going to kill themselves

You can sue me I wanted Phoebe Bridgers to play Waiting Room more than Georgia. People are so mad about her playing waiting room because it’s too mainstream. The stadiums are sold out fuck head. You are too pretentious. She’s not going to suck your dick because you like Georgia

I wanna redo Halloween so bad I feel like I can make it better this time around