Texas
Joined May 2010
why are zippers so small, we could have been grabbing them so much better
1
33
defibrillation is defragging a heart
1
2
57
omg snazz fish bathroom
A little escape, in shades of blue and burgundy.
50
sunday means getting the papa johnnie’s on
3
103
kayla retweeted
two garlics to the wind
1
4
130
the dutch word for electrician is elektriciteitsproductiemaatschappijmedewerker
5
168
i learned eyes are removed from female shrimp so they make eggs faster
2
2
159
two garlics to the wind
1
4
130
ocean water cloudy like miso what rhymes with miso nothing
1
3
177
Every time you go to the post office the person in front of you has a problem that has never happened before in all of history.
578
21,323
669
265,393
3,915,283
life isn’t perfect but my dog is
7
346
favorite part of going to the dentist is taking a sip from that bad boy
1
13
477
kayla retweeted
My tapeworm can drive us then we can both drink
11
692
18
6,455
79,841
oh wait. i forgot what living in se portland was like. it was like that.. :(
3
409
hey oregon. just missing you today, you wild pretty thing
7
451
kayla retweeted
i think it’s unnecessary to decorate your front porch so elaborately. you’re only supposed to open the door, go through it, then close it
1
6
486
got my peptides from the bodega
5
470
oysters were so plentiful on the streets of philadelphia in the 1800s, people just ate them with a piece of bread
2
2
447
i think it’s unnecessary to decorate your front porch so elaborately. you’re only supposed to open the door, go through it, then close it
1
6
486