🍋lemon

Me [31M] and my girlfriend [29F] are perfect for each other, but lack sexual desire. Me [31M] and my girlfriend [29F] have been dating for almost a year, we've been to international travels together, we have fun and our world views and ideas match almost perfectly. We're almost the same person, and I know this because I do therapy and I see the patterns, sometimes when it's hard to understand her, I just think what I would do in her place, and then I see how similar we are. But one thing keeps me from asking her to marry me, which is the sex. She's only been with 1 other men before, so she has no experience, and when I try to teach her, is a mix of responses. Sometimes she takes them well, some other times she say "I can't do anything right", "Do you want a prostitute? Then go get it" or even "These are my terms and conditions". I've been with woman that like sex before and this is not it. She doesn't like it, doesn't initiate it, she just stand still there. If I ask if she likes, her reply is always the same: "I moan, so I like it". Whenever we have sex I feel like she just let me do what I want and that's it. She even say for me to never hold back. I go out of my way to do oral, buy toys and other forms of preliminaries like kisses, carresses, and other things, but it seems like shes cold, I don't feel the connection at all. Just as a background, I have chronical depression, I've been treating it since I was 18 with medicine, therapy and physical activities. She says suicidal things from time to time, but she refuses to seek any help, and chooses to go to the gym instead. I'm trying to figure this out with therapy but it's not helping. I don't know if this will ever get better since it's like this since the beggining, and no matter how much we talk, the result is the same. I just don't enjoy having sex with someone that does not look like she's enjoying too.