Sorry ladies, I'm not taken. My tweets are dumb because I am a dork. https://teapawt.net/t.co/ijB7owVcUz
Vegas
Joined February 2012
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135lb dip
Posting just for the heck of it
I don't even remember how to use this website anymore π€·πΌββοΈ
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I really want to live off the grid but I also really like getting my packages in two days.
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I co sign on this and put 10k on my boy #supernecessary
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This is the time in the fight
where him and I realized he didnβt wanna be in this fight anymore.
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Her: Wow you look great, what's your secret?
Me: Thanks, I've been inter-mitten fasting
Her: I think you mean intermittent fasting
Me: *bowl of soup slips out of my hands* what's that now?
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Me: Your snoring is making me rethink this marriage
Husband: Your teeth grinding almost stopped me from showing up to our wedding
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Sorry I was late it is actually illegal to get out of the car before George Harrison stops singing.
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Don't tell me I'm not an optimist. I just weed whacked my lady bits on the off chance that someone will see them in the near future.
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God: And the 11th commandment is....
Noah: *chiseling*
God: ...Thou shalt not write on stone tablets
Noah: Wait, what?
God: Oh my Me! Youβre such a dork. Gotcha!
