walking with my dog and she goes up to sniff a person smoking a cigarette, i tell the person "sorry, she's trying to bum a cigarette, please don't give her one, she's in recovery." and they just stared at me. fuck omg is humor dead ?

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🛸 · Nov 4, 2026 · 10:34 PM UTC

🛸@liamdocker_Nov 4

if you wanna set off fireworks do it on a field or something abeg

✨ Jess ✨ · Nov 3, 2026 · 4:43 PM UTC

🛸 retweeted

✨ Jess ✨

@Wee_WelshieNov 3

Absolutely horrendous advert, what were you thinking John Lewis?!!

Basil the Great

@BasilTheGreatNov 3

🚨BREAKING: The John Lewis Christmas Advert 2026 has become one of the worst reviewed in the stores history The comments on YouTube have been TURNED OFF There are currently 5 times the dislikes as there are likes The Plot: - Entitled children ignore their Grandmother, won't even hug her - She tries to give them nice, simple, meaningful toys to play with, they ignore her - She goes to John Lewis to buy expensive toys - The kids now love her It's an awful message featuring a diverse family as always

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🏴‍☠️ · Nov 3, 2026 · 4:00 PM UTC

🛸 retweeted

🏴‍☠️

@jesutumilara_sNov 3

I feel like workdays should be 10am–3pm or 9am– 2pm. There’s no reason for people to spend most of their lives at work. Let people go home and have time for their families, partners, friends, and rest. That’s why everyone is so miserable today.

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felicity shagwell ੯‧̀͡⬮ ᡣ𐭩 · Nov 1, 2026 · 5:43 AM UTC

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felicity shagwell ੯‧̀͡⬮ ᡣ𐭩@liIpochacoNov 1

we should have halloween a couple times a year. the people need to dress up like this more often

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☆T⁷₿ · Oct 27, 2026 · 3:32 AM UTC

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☆T⁷₿

@tumiszn_Oct 27

We actually need a “Not interested, this is AI” button or a proper AI blocker. The algorithm needs to learn how badly most people don’t want AI slop.

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soup🕷️ · Oct 26, 2026 · 11:05 PM UTC

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soup🕷️

@thrluvOct 26

“lemme slip into something more comfortable” enters psychosis

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. · Oct 27, 2026 · 4:31 PM UTC

🛸 retweeted

@OmgemeralddddOct 27

I don't want to “download the app” to pay for parking. I don't want to “create an account” to see a menu. I don't want to “provide feedback” on a 30-second interaction. I just want to exist in the physical world without a digital leash

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🛸 · Oct 27, 2026 · 6:18 PM UTC

🛸@liamdocker_Oct 27

bolt > uber uber was saying £30 home and bolt niced me with a £15 trip, literally half the price

atlas · Oct 25, 2026 · 10:28 PM UTC

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atlas

@creatine_cycleOct 25

"the password you are attempting to use was part of a data breach are you sure you want to continue using it?" drone strike my house man i don't care anymore

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