Mike Oxlong retweeted
Everyone's timeline needs a cleanse and it doesn't get cleansier than Snoop Dogg dancing for a horse at the Olympics:
Mike Oxlong retweeted
Made it.
#GeneralElection2024
Mike Oxlong retweeted
Hey, peeps? Just checking in to say that even the most prolific of serial rapists don’t rape every single woman they meet, so if you’re saying “I met/dated Russell Brand and he didn’t rape me so I don’t find this credible” have you considered that your point is ridiculous
Mike Oxlong retweeted
The Archbishop of Canterbury invites people across the UK and Commonwealth to come together for a ‘Wank For Charles’ at 13:45 BST
Mike Oxlong retweeted
This dog was spotted politely waiting by a pizza truck. He doesn’t have to say what he wants. They already know his order. It is pizza. 13/10

ALT a vertical shot of a placid, cloudy day. on the left, a barren tree reaches up to the overcast sky. on the right, a boxy white food truck has parked with its little window propped open for business. you can just make out the word “pizza” in black curly lettering on the front of the truck. in the center of the photo, sitting squarely in the middle of a green bike lane, a rather large dog that resembles a golden retriever or great pyrenees is sitting patiently in profile, staring expectantly at the food truck’s window while basking in the glow of its lights.
Mike Oxlong retweeted
"I squat 315" "I bench press 225" ok well while you're lifting weights I'm lifting my homies' spirits with little jokes and tomfoolery
Mike Oxlong retweeted
When education is not liberating, the dream of the oppressed is to be the oppressor.teapawt.net/estressecurado/status/…
Mike Oxlong retweeted
BBC and ITV when they see #princewilliamaffair and #pegging trending....
Mike Oxlong retweeted
This is literally how I enter the dance floor
Just seen how giraffes eat grass and I don't think I'm ever going to get over it 😂😂
teapawt.net/buitengebieden_/status…
Mike Oxlong retweeted
I think you mean it smells like pure opulence? (please Kayleigh we can't have another lawsuit)
I cannot, I repeat, cannot get over the smell of the one on the left (they both smell lush). The whole kitchen now smells like Marc Jacobs decadence and this is all I ever needed to make me clean more 😅🤣 @AldiUK































